i found out that i am pregnant two weeks ago. im scared to go to the doctor to find out how far along i am. i didnt plan to fal pregnant it was the last thing i wanted. i feel like im trapped. my boyfriend is happy about the pregnancy and does'nt understand how i feel.

im currently working but i had planed to go back to varsity next year but now i cant. i cant tell my family coz im scared of what they might do. i was meant to be the graet child of the family but i messed everything up. i was thinking about having an abortion but i cant find it in myself to do  it. how do i choose between myself and the person growing inside me. how can i want to hurt an innocent being. but i find myself hating this poor littlr thing and that just makes me feel like a monster. everyday is a battle to survive, i find myself thinking more and more about killing myself. i even know how im going to do. i feel trapped.

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