Life seems to throw us so many curve balls and sometimes we're just not that good at caching them. These last two and a half years have been one huge curve ball, a learning curve that has taught me so many lessons, that I probably wouldn't have learned and disovered had I not had an abortion. I can never say that I no longer regret that decision, but I can say that I've learned from it and that I would not have learned anything unless I had had the abortion.
No, I'm not justifying it to myself or anyone else... I've just learned so much about myself, my life and the resilliance of the human spirit...
I've learned that you can keep crying, long after you thought that you had no tears left.
I have learned that your heart can be so broken, that it hurts just to breath.
I have learned that no matter how dark the night is, the sun will ALWAYS rise in the East.
I have learned that when times are tough, we see who our true friends are and who really loves us.
I have learned that just because the experience is painfull, it's no excuse not to work through it.
Life has taught me more about love, friendship andn forgiveness these past few years then it did in the 18 years before. Life has taught me that the ones who really matter don't judge and the ones who judge shouldn't matter. Life has taught me that you need to forgive yourself before you can expect others to forgive you.
I know now that who we are is not determinde by the mistakes that we make, but by how we deal with the consequences there of. I know that it is easier to cry than to laugh, but more rewarding to laugh than to cry. I know that it is easier to sit in a heap and give yourself over to depression, but it's more rewarding to work your way through a problem untill you can think about it without curling into a little ball.
Life full of so many beautifull lessons and sometimes they come from a place or event that's not so beautifull or pleasant. But it's these tests of character that teach us lessons that we wouldn't learn anywhere else.