I was just 16 and it was my Junior year in March when i found out i was 10 weeks pregnant. I felt incredibly stupid especially after having terrible memories reoccuring of my current miscarriage in Dec. a week before Christmas started (best Christmas present huh). I kinda already knew i was but i never really thought it could happen again especially after what i just went through. i kept blaming myself thinking i did something wrong but never really trying to think about it. It was too painful. I already told my bf that i thought i was pregnant again. We both were scared and he was just scared for my emotional well being. He wasn't the only one worrying bout that. I remember wondering to myself if i should go through this again and risk a miscarriage (which i knew if that happened again i wouldn't be able to handle it), or just get an abortion. I knew i wasn't comfortable with the idea of an abortion but let my fear conquer over letting a life live. I finally reached a conclusion told my school nurse i wanted an abortion and she handed me a list of numbers i could call to set up an appointment. The funny thing is, after i had my miscarriage my mom kept trying to drag me into a hospital so they could do a post-miscarriage check-up or something awkward like that. I kept refusing because i didn't want to  be in a hospital enviornment because i know it would strike up memories. i went to counseling but it turned out my original counselor changed postitions so i was assigned a new one. It was just my luck, i was assigned a counselor, who was as swollen as a balloon!!! How could i be assigned a pregnant counselor! i never returned after that. Me and my bf returned to our sexual ways and everyday i wondered...should i try to get pregnant again? I wanted that baby so badly and i prayed daily so i wouldn't lose her...but once i saw the spot of blood...i had a feeling it was over...now that everything was normal-except for this new emotional scar across my soul-i went back to my old ways. The day i actually decided to go in for birth control i asked if i could take a pregnancy test to make sure i wasn't pregnant....sadly enough that pink plus sign was not what i wanted to see. i had a gut feeling that i was pregnant again right after we had sex but that just finalized it. i didn't know what to do. i decided to follow through with an abortion but knew i didn't have the right to take a life away. God chose me for whatever reason and now she was our responsibility. now we're excited for Dec. 28th and can't wait for that little girl. =)

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