i want to share my story with other women, in hopes of maybe helping someone out there that has or is being abused. or just needs advice on what to do, or make them open their eyes.

im amber, and im 19 years old. im five months pregnant with a little girl..
-may,i found out that was pregnant. to be honest i was not too excited about the thought of being a mommy, and i knew the guy i was with really didnt love me he was just looking for a free ride, he talked all the time about "how he had a reason to be a changed man" the baby.. well we fought all the time, he hit me and abused me and no one in my house knew, he told me not to tell or he would kill me, and that i better not try to leave him.
-june 5, 2009. im haunted by the momoires, that happened that day. i was four months pregnant then. me and jermey [the dad to my baby] where left alone that day, my three sisters and their boyfriends had left to the lake and my mom was at work, so it was just me and him. well after everyone left, we got into a fight he was saying all this crazy stuff, and how the bay was not his.. and then he hit me, that was it i had, had enough i told him to get his things and leave he kept telling me no, and that he was going to kill himself, i left the bedroom and told him to get out and i meant it. i went and sat out in the kitchen, at the table he came out of the bedroom and came right behind me and choke me till i passed out. i could feel him standing over me and abusing me, but my body wouldn't get up i couldnt move or say anything, it was like when you have a dream and your moving around in your sleep. im not sure how long it took me to wake up, but when i did i saw him running out the door. i could not see anything out of my right eye and at the time i didnt realize what had just happened i didnt even take time to look around, i just ran to the bathroom to why i couldnt see.... when i looked in the mirror i saw blood, i was covered from head to toe with it the whole right side of my face was beat bad! i couldnt even move my left wrist, and my stomach was in so much pain!! i was crying nd freaking out, and i couldnt find the phone anywhere, when i found it i called 911.. to my surprise they where already on their way, i guess he ran out to the middle of the road and told people that he had been stabbed, and the clothes he was wearing where covered in my blood.. i remember being weak and forcing myself to walk to the end of the driveway, and wait for the cops, because i didnt want them to miss me.. by the time the cops got their jermey had came back to the house, and was crying to the cops about how he was sorry and didnt know it was me that he stabbed that he didnt mean it. i was airback to a hospital that was four hours from where i live. when i got to the hospital, i went straight to surgery they told my mom that they where not sure i was going to make it, i had lost a lot of blood. i spent over 30 hours total in surgery, my nose and eye sockett where broke, i was stabbed four times in the stomach and inch away from my heart, and my hand he tried to cut it off he had cut all the way to my bone! i came out of surgery and was told they cant check on my baby till later and i had to have three blood trasfusions. three days later they did some test and scaned my baby, to everyone's surprise she was moving around just as much as she could i remembering crying as soon as i saw her moving.. my baby and i are both soo lucky he missed my heart and her by an inch!!
-july- a little over a month later and im still dealing with that day. they have since then found other problems with me.. i black out a lot, the doctors say its from trama, my liver has scars and they say its from he stabbing, i have to go back into surgery. i have dreams every night and that day just replays in my head... he has not yet had a sentence, i dont know if he'll be in jail a few years or th rest of his life.. last i heard was he cut the tattoo out of his arm that had my name on it, and is being watched over because he has tried killing himself. i have no sorrow for him, and hope that he spends the rest of his life behind bars.. ive learned the hard way, i dont regret getting pregnant or still having her, i just regret that i let things get that bad.
-ladies, i dont know you all.. or your stories, but if your relationships are abusive you need to get out.. pregnant or not no man has any right to ever hit you. thats not love, and sorry just does not make up for it.. please dont put your innocent kids and unborn babies threw that.

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