For the past week I've been constantly worrying if I've gotten pregnant. My last period was less than 3 days and extremely light, and I haven't started this month yet and it's been 2 days. I'm fairly regular. I'm on birth control, and my boyfriend and I don't use condoms because I have never had problems with the pill before now. I'll be turning 17 in 16 days, and I'm scared out of my mind at the thought of raising a child at this age. My boyfriend is scared too, and has voiced that he isn't ready to raise a child. He's 19. But there is this part of me, that when I think about having a baby, I get excited and happy. I know if I am pregnant, I would never get an abortion. But I don't think adoption is an option for me, either... I know that having a child is life changing - I'll have less free time, I'll have to grow up a lot faster than I normally would, I'd have ten fold the responsibilities. But the thought of carrying a child in my womb for 9 months, 9 months! I would instantly bond, I have that extremely strong maternal instinct. Giving up a baby would just shoot me straight back into the depression I have worked so hard in my life to overcome. Along with that, if I was stupid enough to get myself into this situation I believe that I need to take responsibility for my actions, even if it means giving up on a lot.I hate to admit it, but the thought of having a child, even at this age, makes me incredibly happy. But I'm torn - if I am pregnant, should I keep the baby and take responsibility for my irresponsibility, risking my boyfriend and I's relationship? Or do I give the baby up for adoption, giving him or her a chance at a wonderful life, risking my own happiness?
- Written by SpiffyTiffy