Ive been on and off with my ex for 3 years now, and a week ago I have found out that I am pregnant. I am about 7-9 weeks now, and at first him and I were ok but then he told his parents who are which are going to support my choice either way but this is a decision between me and the ex. I've already been threatened by a couple of people including his sister, and wanting me to get an abortion
. With all that drama he changed his mind too, he's told me he isn't going to love me anymore if i keep it, and that he is going to go to the military so he could support it but either way he wants nothing to do with me. He told me that he's obviously not ready and he doesnt think I am either. But this is something that isnt planned, him and I both know that and of course we arent going to be ready right? This guy has everything given to him, he has never had to face a problem because of his actions. It has always been about him, and his wants and needs. Now me on the other hand, I no longer live at home, and i am now currently unemplyed, and pretty much have nothing. Last year I went through depression because of this guy, and ive thought over my choices and I thought if I got an abortion yeah, Id still be living with him but only cause he feels guilty, so I know where Id be staying, but I feel like Im going to lose lack of motivation of getting on my feet. Cause this is huge, if I get rid of this baby then what? I feel like I wont go anywhere, and I have nothing going on in my life so I obviously dont see anything for me, either way I know the father is not going to be in my life the way I want him to be or to love me that way that Id like and Im having a hard time wrapping my head around that. But the twist is I have found a place that I could go to about 30 minutes away, where Id have my own room, and I would be given a doctor that they have worked with over the past 17 years, and there Id be required to work or be in school least 20 hours a week. And Id learn basic skills like cooking, and Id have a counselor to talk to and know my options about everything, and I think it would be great, if I were to have the baby I would have a lot more to give than I would without this help. and I feel it would get me on my feet. Just I dont think I am ready to have a kid, its a huge commitment, and its going to be with me the rest of my life, and its going to be a struggle with child support with the dad, and I cant rely on him to be there in the future. He's not faithful, i know he would move on with his life. and I just dont know what to do and Im completely lost and I need help. I feel this is too big for my head to handle. I am christian, and I dont believe in abortion, and I feel like Id be losing my faith, just I wish there was a way I could talk the father into realizing that things would be okay, or to even appreciate my choice if i were to keep it. Ive given up my mind, body, and heart for this guy just what more do I have to give. I try to think of what would be right for the babys life, and that would mean to go to that house. but I think about my life and I just dont even know what to think about myself. And all it would do for the father is freedom and him to not learn from anything, and to continue living life, and flousing around with other girls for who knows how long, and I mean he calls me selfish, but am I being selfish? I think he is, cause he is thinking bout his life, even though he says itd be the best for both of us, he's still thinking more about himself than me, and Ithink it is more self centered around him. Just am I wrong to keep the baby? Either way I feel Im doing something horribly wrong, SOMEONE JUST HELP ME FAST! If I go with abortion he wants me to go NEXT WEEK. So please just help me come to my senses. Thank you for your time.