Hey everyone, my name is Sierra.  I'm 18 years old and will be graduating soon.  I'm so glad I found this website because I need advice badly.  I want to tell you all my story.  I met a guy at a club in January.  It was the 1st club I ever been to and we were just dancing for a long time.  During that time I was kind of tipsy and I wanted to get to know him more because I felt a strong connection with him.  Anyway I lost contact with him and then I found him on myspace.  We started talking and one day I told my mother I was going to a game but I went with him.  We were in his car and I thought we were just going to talk, but he started feeling on me and kissing me so then we ended up having sex.  That was my 2nd time having sex so afterwards I felt weird but I was okay.  We started dating on February 17th and when we went out I noticed he always wanted to have sex.  Then he stopped calling often and it just went down from there.  One night he called me and wanted to come over.  It was 11:30 p.m and I was in the bed so I was like I don't know if you should come over.  Lately I everytime he asked me to come over I would say I don't know, I don't care or I'm tired so this time I said it don't matter.  He told me he was on his way.  I couldn't have him over that late so I said that he would have to come through the window, but I really didn't want him to because of my mother.  Also I didn't want to have sex with him.  So he arrived and I thought about not answering the window and pretending to sleep but then I let my optimistic side come over me and let him in.  We sat and cuddled for like a second before he started kissing on me and trying to pull down my panties.  I tried to stop him but he didn't let me.  I tried pulling up my panties, putting my foot on his thigh and getting from under him.  I shook my head no even though I didn't scream  it.  Anyway he did what he wanted to me anyway.  When he was done he asked me what was wrong and I looked away and he left.  I knew he didn't care about me! I was shocked.  He raped me.  I didn't know if it was rape at first, but then I asked my friends and they said yea.  Just because I didn't fight him and scream did not mean he didn't rape me.  I didn't want to do it.  I felt so bad afterwards, ashamed, regretful, and even dissapointed in myself.  That was on April 9th.  I have not told my sisters or my mother.  After that I've been feeling wierd.  I feel sometimes nauseous, light cramping in my stomach sometimes, mild pain in my vagina sometimes.  My breast are not sore and my period is supposed to come on this week.  I don't know what to do.  It hurts me to think about how this can affect my life and my family's life.  I'm dissappointed in myself, but I will not let it get me down and no matter what as long as I have hope and faith in God and myself I know I will make it.  Please help me and be there for me, because I have noone else to turn to.  I guess I will just have to wait and see if I am pregnant.  My situation is really troubling me so I just need some support.

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