I finally decided to write my story, i will do my best with my english..
When I was 16 was constantly raped by a closer person, after a few months I got pregnant, and he made me say that the father was my ex bf, who was a very good person but I wasnt having sex with him. He made me do that by threatening me for almost 3 months that I stay in my hometown. My parents were very supportive, and I really want the baby.
So my parents took me away, where the father couldnt find me, because he was looking for me (i dont know how its call it, but its a house where help preg woman in whatever situation). All was good, I felt peaceful and I thought my pregnancy was fine, but my mom saw me not really healthy and the medical assistance wasnt good, my mom said. Then they took to the USA when I was about 7 months prego, and just a week after I started to have contractions, I didnt want to but I went to the hospital and I had preclamcia the doctor could wait only two days for the baby get strong and he born on tuesday november 09/2004.
My baby was diagnosed with hidrocefalia, its was a really bad time, he was in the hospital for a month, each day hoping a new good advance. He was in good hands the doctors did a good job, and I really appreciated it.
After a year and a half I came back to home, enjoyed university and, didnt need it, but I get a job. Just when all was going really great I fell in love with someone in the ofice, and now im pregnant again. Its different because the father it around and he is happy. But im only 4 months and the baby its already diagnosed with gastroschisis and she will neeed surgery just born.
Im too scared, every moment I feel like my babies are paying for my mistakes. I love them, even my unborn baby because i can feel her (its a girl) . And I dont regret, I just feel guilty...
thanks for take the time to read