Just because I chose abortion as an option, it doesn't mean that I've lost my right to feel loss... My loss IS real. My grief IS real. My pain IS real. My anger IS real... But what exactly is lost?
Since the abortion, for as long as I can remember, I have been depressed on one level or another. I've felt that something important is missing, and has left me feeling empty and incomplete. That's because I've lost a lot more than just a baby.... yes, I mourn for my child, but there are other asspects of my life and pregnancy that deserve to be mourned too. With the abortion:
- I lost my hopes for my baby and my hopes of being the best mother, care giver and teacher I could be,
- I lost the hope of watching our child grow up,
- I lost the closeness I shared with dbf before the abortion and the hope of having a family with him,
- I lost my self respect, self confidence and self image,
- I lost my dreams, goals and vision for my future.
I had not given thought to these things, being so consumed by guilt and anger has blinded me to other parts of my life that need to be worked on.