it's almost been a year since i terminated my baby. Tears are filling up in my eyes right now. it would've been my babies first christmas. i would've been buying them presents and loving them. instead  i am still morning their loss and still loving them.

 i have been trying to get pregnant but nothing seems to be working:( why cant  i get pregnant now?  i just want him or her back. they were almost four months and i killed them. thats like a little body with a heartbeat and a part of a brain. how could i do it? i dont want to be alive anymore. People are going to judge you either way it's not worth having an abortion 

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