Here I was a 19yr old with an amazing boyfriend that I have been with for over a year. We were both having a hard time paying bills, and even eating sometimes. The only thing I could save money for was birth control. I have been on birth control for 6yrs!!!! And in August I find out Im pregnant. We decided we could not afford a baby. That there would be no way we could afford diapers, an appartment, food for us and everything else. We decided we needed to get an abortion. I was so scared, mainly cause I wasn't sure I could do it. But I decided it was best for all of us. So I did it. And I never looked back. Some people say it changes your life. But for me I never really thought about it. I never cried I never wondered if I had done the right thing. I was just glad it was over. It was like it never happened. Now in November I find out IM pregnant AGAIN!!!!!! I used birth control and condoms. How does that happen? It means I got pregnant the first week I had sex again! How does that work? I guess abstinence really is the only way. But this time I cried and IM freaking out and I dont think I can do that again. But Im not any better off. Im more financially in the hole from paying for the first abortion. I dont know what to do. Part of me thinks Im just meant to have a child now. But I dont think I will be a good mother now. I have not told my boyfriend this time because the first one took a lot out of him. More than it did me. And Im afraid he cant handle it. He was so wonderful the first time, I feel bad. So here I am debating if I can even afford to have another abortion?!?!?!?! Or if I even want one?!?!?!
- Written by hoody