Yesterday was the day that it was confirmed. I am pregnant. My mom, grandma and aunts didn't want my life to go this way. They all had children between 17 and 19. I am 18. I feel like I let them down. I live with my fiance in our own place. He is just acting like he's going to wake up and it'll be over. I told my closest friends, and my one aunt, and surprisingly they want me to keep it. I don't know what I want honestly. My fiance is more worried about not being able to play video games, work, his remot control car, real cars, and vacations. So with that being said, he wants me to abort. "You walk in pregnant, you leave not. Its that easy" he says. But its not. He doesn't realize how much pain it is going to cause me. When I tell him that he says "Its a piece of me too hunny, it's going to be hard for me too." Then he goes back to doing whatever he was doing. I'm just so confused. As selfish as it is I don't know if I am ready to raise a child. I know I can do it, and I know I will love it, and I know I will be a good mommy. But I still want to do things that I haven't experienced yet. Like vacations, and marriage. I know I can do it with a baby, but it will be hard. I wouldn't mind adoption, however that scares me because when I give birth I fear that I might fall in love and realize that this baby is supposted to be in my life, not the adoptive parents. So I have a lot of choices to make. If anyone has adivce please feel free to give it. I'm open to anything right now.

 

thanks

-kal

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