You were in the middle of purchasing those new heels you've had your eyes on when your cell rings. You answer to an unfamiliar voice on the other end telling you to come to the emergency as your loved one has just been registered. You drop the shoes and frantically drive in and out of traffic to reach them. You finally reach the hospital where you find them attatched to machines, nurses going in and out of the room and you take a seat beside them to assure your love that everything will be ok, you're there now. Or would you tell the unfamiliar voice that you're not going to make it because you'd rather spend money on shoes than on gas to go to the hospital to be there for your love? I never thought the one I loved, the soon-to-be father of my baby would do that to me. He did however and now I can neither forget nor forgive. July 25, 2008 I began to have a back spasm and ran across the street from work to a pharmacy to grab a heating pad with hopes of curing it. After returning to work I got a sudden nudge that maybe I should call my mother. As I went to the phone my lungs closed in and I was unable to breathe. My mother picked up the phone and I vaguely said, "Come, now." I work alone as I run a jewellery store for my boss who has been working on another project for the past five months. When my parents arrived I was in the washroom vomiting in between trying to breathe. My mother rushed me to the emergency room while my father stayed to watch the store and wait for my boss to arrive shortly after we left. I was put in right away and nurses and doctors were coming in and out of the room. My father arrived shortly after us and watched in the room with my mother. I was given a drink that would freeze my asophogus, a needle containing two different medications and they did blood tests while I came in and out of conciousness. As soon as I was registered my parents called my boyfriend and updated him on what had happened. Now you think he would be rushing to my side considering the severity of the situation and my being fourteen weeks pregnant. Thankfully nothing was wrong with my little angel. After an hour had past my boyfriend called and told me that he wasn't going to make it to the hospital because he was with a friend and he did not want to waste his gas. How does hearing this make you feel? It made me feel like I was not worth the $5 in gas it would cost him to see if I was still alive and our baby still healthy in the hospital. I was in emergency most of the night until I was finally released and I was given papers to return next week for more tests. He never apologized, never gave it a second thought. He finally came home and still nothing, not even questioning if the baby or I were going to be ok. So here I am a day later wondering, "What now? What have I gotten myself into with him?" I've thought long and hard and what he did to us (my little angel and I), and it is unforgiveable. I cannot begin to fathom what he has done. It only proves that he is not reliable, loving or trustworthy. It shows that he will never be there for us, because clearly his friends, alcohol, money and gas are of far more importance to him. So I will keep my chin up and go through this without him by my side. No one should ever be in this situation, and how dare he put me right in the middle of it. I've lost all respect, trust and love for him now. Unfortunately he will never regain it from me, but I only hope and pray that he can regain it from my little angel. I can take this, but if he pulls something like this with my little angel it will not be accepted nor forgotten. If this is his love, I do not want it.
- Written by Jackson7