I am 18 years old and just found out I am pregnant again.  The first time I got pregnant I was sixteen years old and ended up getting an abortion because I felt as though it was the right decision at the time.  I have known the father of my baby since I was 13 and we've dated on and off since that age.  We were together for two and a half years steadily and then our entire relationship fell apart and we just recently got back together a month ago and now I am pregnant with his child again.  He told me he would support me with whatever decision I make but also told me that he is leaning more towards an abortion because we both are still really young and having a child is a lot of responsibility and he doesn't think I will be able to handle it mentally either. 

Because of my first pregnancy resulted in abortion, I am really contemplating on whether or not to keep this child.  I regretted having that abortion at times and now I don't think it is fair to my unborn child that he/she doesn't get to live because of mistakes that I have made.  The truth is I am just plain scared and don't know if I will be a good mother or if I will be able to handle parenthood at this age.  I think it will destroy my relationship with my current boyfriend because of mood swings and we are currently on rocky terms as it is. 

I don't want to bring an unwanted child into this world or have the child and then have them go through the pain of having unmarried parents who don't stay together and all of the tension and animosity that comes along with it.

I'm also uncertain about all of the responsibilities and how my parents will react, let alone the fact I will be completely destroying my body at such a young age.  Not only that but I'm still not sure what I even want to do with my life financial wise and I can't provide for myself independently let alone a child along with it. 

So many things can also go wrong during pregnancy too and if all does go well and the baby comes out completely healthly then that is just the beginning to a long road and the beginning of a completely different life and lifestyle.  I don't know maybe I am just being selfish but I also don't understand that if my boyfriend really loved me why wouldn't he want me to have his child??

 Could anyone please respond to this blog and give me advice without a completely biased opinion on what you think I should do.

 

Thankyou

 

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