If I can help one person- I will be happy!  Please don't do it.  I was forced by my parents to have an abortion when I was 15.  I will never be the same person.   There will always be a hole in my soul.  I am now married with 3 children- and I still grieve the loss.  If only I would have stood up to them as many brave girls did on this website. 

  ;If you are not able to care for the baby and give it a good home---adoption is the best alternative.  At least you will know in your heart that your baby is in a good place.  I have a friend that opted to give her child away at 16 (in secret).  After 25 years, her son sought her out and met his 3 siblings.  She said the hole in her heart has been mended.  I will never get that chance.  I can only hope that I will be forgiven. 

I look at my children now and wonder what my baby would have been like.  I have had multiple miscarraiges throughout my life- and I often wonder if this was my punishment.  Also- I do not have any girls.  Was this aborted baby a girl?  Was that my chance?  I will never know- and will never stop thinking about it. 

I sometimes think I should talk to someone about my guilty feelings- and feelings of loss.  But what will it help?  What is done is done- and it cannot be taken back.  I will have to live with my decision for the rest of my life.  I also will live with ill feeling towards my parents for the rest of my life- which I really hate.  They are good people- and I'm sure they hate the decision they made also.  I don't know- because it was never talked about again.  It is the "dirty secret" in our closet.   

So- please- think long and hard about what is right for you.  Because if you decide to have an abortion- the decision does not fade away after it is complete.  It haunts you.

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