I am 20 years old and I had my first abortion 2 weeks ago on January 25. I have been with this guy for over 2 years and it has been great. One day we had sex and next thing you know i never got my period but it never crossed my mind that i might be pregnant. But i never told him anything until i found out i was pregnant. It was in october that i found out i was pregnant and i told him. since then till this day our relationship went down hill. I want to be with him and work things out and i wanted to keep the baby but he didnt want to. I didn't talk about abortion or anything and he did but i would always change the subject because i wanted him to change his mind. But then our relationship got worse we broke up after christmas and he started to talk to another girl and i got so upset and started to think i am not going to raise a child on my own with out a father. So i told him i was getting an abortion and he didnt argue with me. For me it was a 3 day process because i was 5 months. I remember every appointment. the first was just signing papers and to see if i was pregnant. they stick these things in my cervix to make it soft for the procedure. the second appointment was just a little check up to put new sticks in my cervix to keep it soft also they did one last ultra sound and stuck 2 needles in my tummy. those two shots was to stop the babys heart beat. the last appointment i got hookup up to some iv and i asked to be put to sleep. all i really remember was going in to the operation room laying down and having this mask on my face and i fell asleep. i didn't cry until i got home. when i was trying to sleep i just couldnt belive what i have done. i don't know how to forgive myself in this situation. please help me everytime i see a baby or a woman that is pregnant i get depressed.
- Written by hawaiigirl