So yah.... AFTER ALLLL THIS....MY beautiful fiance decides he wants to wait till we get married to have a baby afterall..yeah...and I'm a little peed off cos thats what I wanted to begin with and he didn't want that, he wanted to have a baby NOW NOW NOW! lol! but now he's decided what I wanted was best. But I can't say that I'm  ;entirely happy......you see I got around to the idea of our baby coming soon and now its got to a point were i really really want to concieve and have a baby it's like someone has just called halt to my dream..am i bein selfish?spoiled?stupid? i don't know...Deep down i know that its the right way to do things and thats what I wanted all along. But i guess i just feel dumb because i was willing to change my ideals for him just liek taht and defend my choice to the hilt. and now HE's the one telling ME how it should be. A part of me IS happy that we are doing things God's way but I can't hepl but feel a little deflated...............sad even. I want to be a mommy so bad and the thought that it was gonna be happening so soon...the conception the good news the pregnancy...everything . And it seems that whatever we do he makes the decisions i do the work wether it be emotionally physically or internet researchingly (lol) it seems my whole world surrounds his whim. I don't know maybe it's my own dramatic self making things more of a stress than what it is and i know he has his fair share...but it doesn't feel like it...:(
- Written by Ch3y_IS_BACK!!