So I am 27 years old and I feel like I'm 13 or something.  I found out I was pregnant on Aug. 27th of this year and I can honestly tell you that I am terrified, angry, some what unhappy, nervous, scared, mind boggled. Why all of these feeligs you ask? Well for starters I'm not in a relationship of any shape or form with the father. I've known him for about a year and he was just someone that I liked to have "fun" with.  Now the fun has stopped. He is denying that he is the father, claiming that I must have been having "fun" with some other guy. For starters, I'm not like that. I like to have fun with one person at a time for awhile, not go around having fun with all kinds of people. Ok so besides that, there is also the fact that like I said I'm 27 BUT I am in debt and currently living in my parents basement (which looks like the set for the movie of Arachnaphobia, except for my room).  I also haven't told my parents because (this is when I feel 13) I am scared to death of their reaction.  I am really pretty sure of everything and anything they might say, which would be along the lines of 'how in the hell are you gonna raise a baby when you can't even pay us rent or pay your father his money back? Or they might just be sooo pissed that they say nothing and just kick me out. There are things in my community to help out mothers who are struggling financially but I don't know where to start with all that. I'm also just scared of telling my parents for the simple fact that they know I'm not in a relationship with anyone and the simple fact that I was stupid about having fun with some guy who is acting like a jerk and that I'm going to have to hear about (probably the rest of my life). I already know I messed up and I'm trying to deal with it.  I've had3 abortions in the past because before I used to just run from my problems instead of dealing with them (not saying children are problems, but when I was younger they seemed that way). But this time I am doing the right thing, and I know it's not going to be easy, but I wish it would be.  I just feel alone, scared, confused. All types of emotions all mixed up going through me right now.  I would like to point out that I do get a happy feeling, when I realize that I believe I am developing an attachment/bond with my baby in my belly, but it hasn't quite overpowered all the bad feelings.  It does get better right?

Keep you updated!! 

 

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