mother hugging babySurely having your real Mom and Dad is best for you? That’s what most people tell me. But when I think about life without Matt, it really upsets me, and I see him and my little boy asleep together on the sofa, I can’t take that from either of them. But when I think of life WITH Glenn, I get a huge smile on my face. And Connor looks like him so much.

I just need some rational advice. Please…

I’m at a bit of a loss at the moment. My best friend is my boyfriend, and I really can’t ask or expect him to help me with this, so anyway, here it goes.

I’m the mother of a 3 year old little boy (Connor), I had him when I’d just turned 16 (I am 19 now, just to make it clear ) and his Daddy is also 19. We were in the same year at school and were very good friends for a couple of years before we started going out and I fancied him all that time, he was my first love.

We had only been together 4 months when I found out I was pregnant, we were both 15 and so shocked and scared. He mentioned abortion, which at the time I freaked out on, I didn’t want it, but now I understand he said it just becasue he was scared, not because he actually wanted it. Anyway, after many arguments and upsetting our parents, when I was 6 months along, we split up, I dropped out of school, mostly becasue I didn’t want to see him everyday.

I learnt though friends that he was sleeping with every little girl who gave him a chance, and even though his mom was trying to help me and him and offered him a part-time job were she worked, he wouldn’t take it.

But, when Connor was born, he was there, in the room with me and it felt like we were back together we were so close. And I could see he loved his baby. But after that, unless I was dropping Connor off to see him and his family, we didn’t see each other or talk to each other at all.

When Connor was about a year old Glenn (his dad) had gone back to exactly what he was like when I was pregnant, sleeping around, doing drugs and the like. And he didn’t see Connor for weeks at a time.

I told myself to get over it and eventually I did. And I have been with my current boyfriend (Matt) for about a year and a half now. He loves Connor like he’s his own and Connor loves him. I didn’t think I’d get so lucky so soon and get a young good looking guy who was willing to be a Daddy too. He’s my friends older brother and is a year older than me, he said he’d had a crush on me for a while and we got together on one of my very rare nights out.

But recently, Glenn has been on the scene more. I know the drugs have stopped totally, he’s even got a full time decent job that he’s stuck to for a while now, and he’s giving me quite a bit of money regularly (I’ve never made him or took court action or anything). In fact, in the last 6 months I don’t think I’ve heard one rumour about him sleeping with some girl. And he picks Connor up at least a couple of times a week.

It only seems since I got with Matt that Glenn has decided to get his act together to be honest. And I’m glad he is changing, but sad it happened the way it did, if he’d have realised what he had before, he’d still have us!

My dilemma is that he’s asked for me back, obviously Matt doesn’t know this. Glenn texts me telling me he’s been stupid, that he was only a kid and needed to get stuff out his system and all that kind of stuff but said that he never stopped loving either of us, and that he’s ready, and WANTS, to be there full time and that he hopes I’m willing to give him other chance.

Him saying this has made me want him back sooo much, I can’t help it. But I do love Matt so much too. I thought i’d got over Glenn, so I’m thinking it’s just because he’s my first love and he’s Connor’s dad that I want him back. But I can see he has changed. I only want whats best for my little boy and I don’t want to confuse him more than he already will be.

I don’t know if he’ll be upset Matt has disappeared from his life, but I don’t know if, when he’s older, he’ll get to know how hard his Dad worked to get us back but I didnt let him back and that he’ll resent me for it, I don’t know if that will make him resent Matt anyway, I just don’t know.

Surely having your real Mom and Dad is best for you? That’s what most people tell me. But when I think about life without Matt, it really upsets me, and I see him and my little boy asleep together on the sofa, I can’t take that from either of them. But when I think of life WITH Glenn, I get a huge smile on my face. And Connor looks like him so much. I just need some rational advice. Any advice welcome, PLEASE.

Thanks for reading. (Sorry it’s a long read!!!)

 

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