I just discovered less than a week ago that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I’m 20 years old, a freshman in college, and have a wonderful, loving boyfriend. I was the one that brought up abortion, and at first, the boyfriend clearly said no. I respected that. I said we’d have the baby.
I’ve been crying constantly. I’m pulled between wanting to bring this little life into the world, and wanting to finish college and live my life as I normally would. I made the appointment today, but now that it’s made, I’m having BIG second thoughts.
Now the roles have reversed it seems. I’m now very VERY reluctant to have the abortion, but my boyfriend is encouraging it, saying it’s for the best. I know that we could do this. It would be rough, but we could manage, but it scares me to death.
It’s my fault for suggesting it in the first place, because now, that’s what he wants, and he doesn’t seem to want to hear me cry and question what we’re doing. I’m informing him I’m having doubts. I’m informing him that I’m going insane. He assures me we’ll be fine. But now, I really don’t think I could live with myself if I did this.
It’s just rough, I know he loves me, but he runs away when I begin to become upset and question the rightness of the apointment. He doesn’t want to deal with a woman that’s an emotional wreck. He tells me not to worry, that we can have other children when we’re more prepared.
I don’t know what to do. But I do know I’m starting to go a little nuts. I’m more confused than I’ve ever been. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
God help me.