baby flowers pink hatI felt no support from anyone, my friends were all for my decision. everyone said it was my decision. How could i keep my baby with no help and no support!! I wanted too. I really wanted too. I told my boy this but he wouldn’t take me seriously!!

I feel that i need to tell my storey so that no one will make the mistake that i did.

 

I am 20 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. Six months ago i discovered that i hadn’t had my peroid. This was odd for my because i was on the pill, when i started to take the sugar pills nothing happened. A week went by, still nothing, 2 weeks went by and i decided that i should probably tell my boyfriend. He was 3 years older than me so i thought he would have been able to handle it. But he freaked out and just kept saying i had to go and have a test. On my way to wor the next morning i went to a chemist by myself and picked up a prehnancy test. I thought i could do it sneakly at work and get a rough idea. I didnt’ read the instructions too well and after the first test thought it was negative. I decided to do the second one just incase, this was more clear. Two red lines = pregnant! I felt scared and happy all at the same time. A million feelings rushed over me.

I told my boyfriend how freaked even more, that night i think we did about 8 different test from different chemists all with the same thing PREGNANT.

I didn’t know what to do, my boyfriend told me he wanted me to get an abortion that i didn’t have any other way. “he’d be there for me” but still pushing for an abortion. I hadnt told my parents i didn’t want to til il knew what i was doing. A week later i went to the doctors and had it confirmed. my boyfriend came with me and tried to be supportive as he could.

I told my mum one morning before work i just blurted it out there was no perfect time to tell them that there baby girl was pregnant. She freaked out too, “your not keeping it” were her words.

I felt no support from anyone, my friends were all for my decision. everyone said it was my decision. How could i keep my baby with no help and no support!! I wanted too. I really wanted too. I told my boy this but he wouldn’t take me seriously!!

I decided not to ruin everyone elses lives i booked an abortion. I didn’t realise i would be ruining my life by killing my innocent baby.

I went through with the procedure. It was horrible for one reason. But the people there were lovely. It hurt even though i was heavily sedated. It didn’t effected me much when it first happened, maybe because it didn’t feel real. But its been 6  months now and i would be 8 months along. It breaks my heart everyday thinking about what i did. There is not a day that goes by that i don’t cry. That i don’t wish i could change my decision. But i can;t, i’ll never be able to.

I hope by reading this girls who were in my position will consider keeping there baby like i wish i had of. Don’t think about anyone but you and your baby. 

i will have to go through my whole life living with what i did. Don’t make the same mistake that i did. My boyfriend doesn’t understand why i still cry myself to sleep at night. Men have it easy.