couple 2 “Put our relationship first” he says to me.”We can have another baby later, when the time is right” and all I can say is “it’s happening now, I want this baby”. Why is he making me choose? He feels like I am not putting us first. He says he is not ready for a baby, he has other plans, things he wants to do first. But what about me? What about how I feel and what I want? We haven’t even discussed the options of keeping the baby, beyond me wanting to keep it.

I need to find the courage within me to stand up. To tell him he is either going to love me, and stand by me through this, and though it won’t be easy, we will make it work, or he is going to leave me to do this alone. Where do I find that courage and strength?

 My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for close to 9 months. Our relationship is perfect. We laugh together, have fun together. We never argue or fight. I have a 3 year old daughter, and he has a 3 year old song and 7 year old daughter. He is a great father to his children, and I love being a mom and can’t wait to have more children.

But now, our relationship has changed. I found out 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant. Now, I am nearing my 7th week. I was shocked to find out, considering I conceived on the pill. He was…. silent. Silent as though I have shot him with a valium dart. He sat on the other end of the phone quiet for about 5 minutes.

“What are we going to do”, he said.

“I don’t know” I responded. 

I saw him two nights later, and we tried to talk. All I could do is cry. I knew, already, that I wanted this baby. I knew the moment I saw those pink lines. He, on the other hand, already knew what he wanted, or didn’t want, I should say. It’s clear he does not want this baby.

It’s like hitting my head against a door, when we try to talk. I spent hours crying, trying to convince myself I don’t want this baby. I can’t do it. I can’t have an abortion for him.

“Put our relationship first” he says to me.
“We can have another baby later, when the time is right” and all I can say is “it’s happening now, I want this baby”.

Why is he making me choose?

He feels like I am not putting us first.

He says he is not ready for a baby, he has other plans, things he wants to do first. But what about me? What about how I feel and what I want? We haven’t even discussed the options of keeping the baby, beyond me wanting to keep it.

I need to find the courage within me to stand up. To tell him he is either going to love me, and stand by me through this, and though it won’t be easy, we will make it work, or he is going to leave me to do this alone. Where do I find that courage and strength?