I have know my ex for almost 8 years and we have been seeing each other for approximately 3 months and living together.
The past few weeks, we have been fighting a lot and it normally leads to abuse.
In January I found out I was pregnant. We had a fight one night and when he pushed me, he caused me to miscarry. I was approximately 4 weeks pregnant. Early last week, he left after we had a huge fight. The following day, I found out I was pregnant. I allowed him to come home on Sunday night because I am unable to afford the rent on my own. This was the worst mistake of my life.
On Monday night, we had this huge fight. He started pushing and shoving me, and then when he had a clear shot, he gave me a huge punch to my lower stomach. He attempted to harm me so I would miscarry. I was so angry and after he pushed me and shoved me several more times, I hit him back, giving him a little cut above his left eye. Soon after the hard blow to my stomach, I was doubled over in excruciating pain.
The police eventually showed up as did his parents. His mother attempted to punch me and his dad told me I was a physco and belonged in a mental institute. The police then questioned me and my now ex, and they decided not believe I was pregnant and accused me of hitting myself. The took me into custody, about an hour after my ex beating me and turned away the ambulance that had showed up to take me to hospital. This all happened around 9pm.
At around 11pm, I was in complete hysterics (crying and having a panic attack) and by this time I had asked several times to call my mother and to be taken to the hospital. It took the police over two hours to realise I wasn’t faking and did need medical attention. I am now pursuing legal action against the police officers involved.
So in hospital, after the nurse did a urine test and confirmed I was pregnant, the police officer still accused me of lying. The hospital asked me what had happened, expressed deep sympathy and asked me if it was ok for them to keep me over night to ensure my ex did not harm me or our unborn child again.
My mum picked me up early on Tuesday morning and took me home. My older sister then took care of me all day.
Since this my ex and I have not spoken, however he does know I am still pregnant. He has been accusing me of sleeping with other people and does not believe the child is his. However, I am definite it is his as I have had no relations with anyone for 6 months. I have spoken with his ex, whom he has a 3yr old with. He doesn’t see his son, and his ex has confirmed he use to beat her as well.
My sister wants me to have an abortion, but I am really against abortion, and I feel that if I do have one I will probably emotionally breakdown afterwards and not cope well with it. My biggest concern is — “am I going to be a good mum, and if I have this child will I be able to love it after knowing where it has come from and will it just remind me of him?”
I believe I am ready to be a mum and I think I would be better as a single mum. I tend to be over-protective and I think I would have enough support from my family to raise a child well.
Tonight I have been looking at my options and the photos of abortion really scare me and make me feel like a murder. Could I have an abortion and be certain I am doing the right thing? I feel that everything happens for a reason, and maybe this is my journey in life and my lesson to learn. Maybe this is meant to be. I’m only 4 to 6 weeks pregnant, so I could still miscarry. I wouldn’t be surprised, I am under a lot of stress.
I always imagined myself getting married to someone I truly love and who loves me, and having a beautiful family with the love of my life. But who is to say if I do have an abortion and in time I do get marred and have children, that my husband won’t leave me. Divorce is so common these days. I’m almost 24 so maybe this can work and maybe I will be a good mum.
I really don’t know what to do.
Someone please help me… I am so lost and confused.