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May 22, 2005 at 7:38 pm #7999Anonymous
If you are reading this right now then please don’t stop reading this is important! If you are a woman of any age who is considering having an abortion, please hear what I have to say before you make your decision. I do not take a political position on abortion-what I’m about to say to you about myself is purely from my own experience.
I lived with my boyfriend when I found out I was pregnant over a year ago, and he did not want me to keep the baby. I really did not want to have an abortion because I knew about how early babies really do develop in the womb. He kept threatening me and telling me if I didn’t have the abortion that he would leave me or do worse then that. He also started drinking a lot and becoming somewhat abusive. He kept saying that I was ruining his life and the "little freak" I was carrying was ruining his life too. I almost gave in many times and actually called the nearest abortion clinic a couple times and made appointments. By this time I was about 3 months pregnant, which meant I could find out the sex of my baby by having an ultrasound if I was gonna keep it. I was scared because I knew deep down that I loved that little life in me and I knew I could not let him or her get ripped or sucked out from inside of me and dismembered and thrown away in a trash. I had had too many friends tell me about their horrifying abortion experiences and they are the ones who describe it this way. Anyway I chose to go to an Obgyn appt. instead of an abortion appt., and because of that decision I got to see my little baby boy swimming, kicking, and sucking his thumb inside of me instead of seeing my dead baby’s remains in a bucket. My boyfriend realized I was keeping our baby, and he finally accepted it. I really didn’t care what he did after I saw my baby boy on the ultrsound nothing could bring me down. I even told my boyfriend to leave if he wanted and I even left a couple times. We ended up staying togather and I gave birth to my son 8 months ago at age 19.
The thing I want everyone who is considering abortion to realize is that, even though things are not really better between me and my boyfriend, I know that my life has a purpose. I look into my son’s big blue eyes and then he giggles at me and I think about how I almost aborted him. What I’m trying to say is that no matter how bad your life is right now you will NEVER regret having your baby, because when you have your baby you have a reason to go on despite it all. We live in poverty but we do get by with some government help- I am presently going to college part-time with the help of goverment grants. There are days when everything seems to fall apart and seem hopeless, but the only thing that keeps me going is knowing I have my sweet baby.
If you are a woman contemplating abortion because you feel like you can’t afford a baby, you have no support, your man or a parent wants you too, you are scared, you are too young, you don’t think you can handle a baby, or things are going pretty good for you now and you think that a baby would mess that all up, then please consider my story. I know I’ve written a lot of words but they are not empty words they are from the bottom of my heart to other girls like me. What I hope you consider is that YOU WILL NEVER REGRET HAVING YOUR BABY no matter how bad your life gets, but from experiences that a few of my friends had, YOU WILL PROBABLY REGRET HAVING AN ABORTION!!! In fact you will probably suffer deep depression, and all the reasons you have the abortion(like for career success or financial reasons) will end up getting worse anyway because of the depression. One of my friends who had an abortion had it all until the incident and then after that she shut down and couldn’t function normal at all and she is now on drugs even though she used to be a really happy bubbly person. PLEEEEEEAAASE for your sake girl if you read this just think clearly about it don’t panic because taking care of a baby is not as bad as what everyone says, in fact I love being a mom and this is coming from someone who used to hate kids. They don’t really always keep you up all night and they don’t puke and poop all the time and they don’t always cry. In fact they smile and giggle and look at you with those big eyes and just want to know that you love them as much as they love you. Also don’t worry you do regain your shape eventually:) If you are pregnant, just make sure you know how far along you are too, because like I said at 3 months when I had the ultrasound it shocked me that he was a fully formed little baby doing intelligent things inside of me. I’m not trying to tell you not to have an abortion but I’m just telling you that I could almost guarantee you will NOT regret having your little baby. Just be sure of your decision of you walk into that clinic for your own long term emotional well being be absolutely positive. If I could spare someone the pain that 3 of my 5 closest friends went through that is all I want, and also if I can help someone find the joy and love I have found in my life from my son then that is all I want too. Just remember things might be a little hard for a little bit after you have your baby but in the long run you will know that everything will be fine no matter how bad things get in other ways.
You are at a crossroads in your life and either decision you make right now will affect you for the rest of your life so don’t be fooled into thinking that abortion will necessarily be the easier way out. Good luck to any of my girls out there I hope this makes a difference for the better because I have so much love for you all. I know what its like to be pregnant and scared I’ve been there.
My final thought is that if you do choose to have an abortion then please see a qualified counselor for awhile before and after the precedure, because the last thing I want for any of my girls out there is to end up a mess like my friends- all three of them are so messed up now. I’m not saying you will be like that but just be ready in case.
If you read this and are pregnant and scared just remember what I said- having your baby will be something you will pat yourself on the back for later I promise:)May 27, 2005 at 6:35 am #8086Jonluver
What an amaxing story. I admire you. Keep telling your story.it’s inspiring! (spelling?)May 27, 2005 at 11:07 am #8096Anonymous
I think you are an amazing person! You truely inspired me. I am not pregnant but i am seriosuly thinking about having a baby. But the problem is that i am only 15. But i really would like to have a baby. I feel that i am ready and i have plenty of support……my question is do you think i should?May 29, 2005 at 5:33 am #8122Anonymous
I’m so glad I could inspire both of you who replied to my message!:) This message though is for Bella as a reply to what she wrote………Girl I think it is awesome that you are ready to have a baby because when I was your age just a few years ago I felt the same way so I really do understand that feeling. You are probably like I was- I developed emotionally and physically at a younger age then most other girls my age did. When you feel more mature and feel ready to take on life earlier then most girls around you, it makes you feel really good and ready to take the next plunge to have a baby. I really do understand where you are coming from because in your heart you know you are ready to love a baby and take care of a baby. What I want to tell you though is that I am very thankful that I did not get pregnant until I was 19 years old for so many reasons. Even though I had that longing for a child and the maturity of someone ten years older then me, there were alot of ways I was not ready at 15 or 16 or even 17. I’m not saying that if you do become a mom at your age now that you wouldn’t do a wonderful job, because it sounds like you probably would love your baby very much. I guess what I’m tryin to say is that if you are not pregnant already, it might be a good idea to give it a couple more years at least just to make sure you have a little more money and get more school done first and also have some fun and live for yourself for awhile. Like you probably would be, I would have been obviously happy about being pregnant no matter how old I was but that is just how I always was I was always the mothering type:) The thing is, I wouldn’t force it to happen, just let it happen when it is meant to happen even if that means waiting a couple of years. I am also not saying to have an abortion if you get pregnant because I would obviously encourage you to keep your baby if you do get pregnant at this time because that probably means it was meant to be now. But I’m saying just don’t force getting pregant to happen just let it happen unplanned and hopefully that will mean that you have a good few years yet to enjoy by yourself and save some money to get your own place and buy some baby clothes and prepare for your little baby boy or girl:) I’m so happy that there are girls like you out there who want to become moms because trust me I’ve never been happier since I became one, but remember I did not plan my baby at the time he came it was just meant to happen at that time so don’t force it just accept when it happens even if that is not right away:) If you do get pregnant now though don’t panic you will be a good mom but like I said if you can avoid getting pregnant for a couple more years you could experience some other stuff in between time:) Love ya and good luck Bella:)
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