Worried after what happened w/ my niece

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  • #15258
    AvatarJSKA

    I’m 23 and plan to start trying for my first baby this year. But it is the back of my head what happened with my sister, and I fear that it will happen to me.

    My sister’s 1st child, Emma Lynn, was a beautiful girl. Nothing wrong with her at all. Perfect pregnancy, no complications.

    Emma was 10lbs 5.5oz & 21 inches when she was born @ 40w 3d gestation.

    The day she was born, my sister went in to be induced and they found no heartbeat, Emma had died a day or two before. The Umbilical Cord was wrapped around her neck 5 times, and twisted like a Phone Cord. The doctor called it Nuchal Cord, or Strangulation.

    I have a hard time talking about this with my sister. She is still mouring Emma’s death, but also engulfed by the joy of her newborn son, Elwood. He is precious.

    My sister will turn 30 in March. It still eats at me that she had a perfect pregnancy; no morning sickness, no aches or pains, nothing!! Emma was perfect in everyway, she was simply ‘stuck’ by her own Umbilical Cord.

    Should I talk to my sister about my fears, and see what she thinks?

    #15273
    Avatarbweber

    u should talk to ur sister about ur fears….and don’t worry, God has his reasons for doing what he did and just remember that little Emma is with God in a better place, and if that was to happen to ur little one God would have a reason to do so…..just remember that if u worry too much and get pregnant and still worry alot it is not good for the baby……
    wishing you the best of luck….

    #15367
    Avatargoodluckyall

    This is one of those things that no one can predict or prevent, so don’t let fear paralyze you and keep you from trying for a baby. All you can do is take your prenatal vitamins, see your doctor, and try your best to be healthy. The rest is in God’s hands and you just have to trust Him. As for talking to your sister, I think you should ask her how she overcame that fear (which I’m sure she had also) to get pregnant with little Elwood. If nothing else, keep him in mind when you contemplate TTC.

    #15394
    AvatarJSKA

    I am thankful for your suggestions. It is also helpful that when my mom and I went down to meet my new little nephew when he was 2 weeks old, my sister expressed all the concerns & fears that she had during her entire pregnancy with Elwood.
    I spoke my mind, and my fears, and she said the same thing. "You can’t live in fear that something bad will happen. If I had done that this time, I would have gone crazy. I kept pushing towards the positive."
    She also told me that I can come to her any time. I told her I will. She knows that I am nervous. But I know that ‘things happen’. God needed Emma somewhere else, although we wish she could have stayed with us, we know that she is in a far better place! :blush:

    Love to all!!!!!!!

    #15415
    Avatarericklirios

    I agree completely with tattudemom.

    My wife and I lost a five month old baby on Mother’s day, May 14, 2000 due to meningitis, hydrocephalus with pneumonia as the immediate cause of death. I still mourn Jake’s death since I was really involved in taking care of him. His elder brother still mourns him as well as he was so close to his baby brother. Did we know about his sickness? No. He was pronounced perfectly healthy when he was born. We’d go in for regular check-ups every month. He eventually had a fever on a Thursday which didn’t subside. The pediatrician then told us not to worry. We took him to my pediatrician aunt by Saturday and while she was looking at him, he started convulscing and we rushed him to a hospital. By Sunday afternoon, we had lost him. Honestly, it hurts so much writing this.

    But even as I write this, I’m looking at my four-year old daughter who’s sleeping seven feet away from me. Her three-year old sister is downstairs playing. These two angels of mine never knew their brother but we tell them about him and their other sister whom we also lost. I absolutely love the three children that God has allowed me to keep and the loss of Jake has actually been the cement, as it were, that keeps our family together. We know that we are together as a family and that’s our choice and that we wouldn’t have it any other way.

    When Isabelle (the four-year old) was still months old, I was really, really scared. I was so scared that what happened to Jake would happen again in whatever way. It didn’t. Though God, in his wisdom and love, will do what He wills, I trust that his love for us encompasses everything and goes beyond anrything we can ever hope to understand. I trust in his love for all my children, a loe that exceeds my own. I trust in his love for me and I trust in his love for you.

    Take care and keep this in mind: Be not afraid.

    Erick

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