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March 6, 2007 at 9:59 am #15593Anonymous
Okay, i am doing good with this pregnancy, im 14 weeks now. Daddy and I are excited. My mom has been helping me financially since she found out.:) He is searching for a better job. But we want to have our apartment. A space where our baby can grow and have room. So im looking for work. My mom isnt supporting me on this decision though. She got upset when i told her i got this great opporunity. A lawfirm receptionist.. She thinks its his job to work…not mine. But im tired of not having money. If i want to go anywhere, i need her to give me money to travel..and for food.:( I CANT TAKE THAT ANYMORE! I got used to the independant life when i started working. I quit that job due to harrassment…and ive been looking for a steady job since. I dnt kno why she gets so aggrivated. She was on her own when she had me. Im not complaining that she wants to help me, but its just hard when i cant just go..when i cant just leave or buy something. Esp. with my cravings…i get the urge to eat something but i need to call on other ppl cuz i cant even afford to leave my house. So i need to kno…i need some input…should i go on this interview or should i listen to my mom and stop looking? Is working at a lawfirm really that stressful on me and my baby?:dry:March 7, 2007 at 3:35 am #15614Meg11
Well Lady c my advice to you would be to sit down and have a true heart to heart with your mom, I so badly wish I could do that sometimes but mione is no longer with me. I think that you and your mom both have the right idea. I think it is great that you want to work …alot of girls act like they are broken not preg LOL They complain that they cant do anything because they are preg and they just get lazy..now some really do need to rest because of complications and stuff so Im not trying to knock them down or anything. But as I was saying You have the desire to work and fend for yourself in a sence. well you need to make sure your motivation is right. working to get more will never get you there. But maybe you should look for a job that is a little less stressful than a lawyers office for now. Once you have the baby if you are able you might like being a stay home mom (I am and I love it) and it will be alot harder to quit a job that brings in the big bucks 🙂 no matter what your choice is make sure that you do whats right for you and the baby dont take a job just for the money and dont not work just because someone else wants to support you on their terms 🙂 my mom wouldnt let me and my sis work but she controlled us with it and if we made her mad it could get bad. I worked a laundry job when I was preg and I loved folding sheets and towels all day and it was easy on my body so you can find something out there just make sure its the right job or you will regret it LOL May the Lord lead and guide you in all things Love MegMarch 7, 2007 at 4:32 am #15623Mommyof2babies
i understand how u feel..i’m a stay at home mom of a little girl that will be 2 may 25th and a 3 mos old son and my fiancee works the only way i can go anywhere or do anything is if he takes me.but i’m hoping that will change soon. he bought another car so i will be able to get out of the house why hes at work. i would say if you feel like everything would be better by getting a job then go for it. its your right to be able to feel independant. good luck w everything.March 7, 2007 at 12:16 pm #15660ericklirios
Okay, let’s deal with the easy question first. Working at a law firm can be very stressful depending on what kind of clientele that firm has. If it deals with very personal casese like divorce, custody, property disputes, etc. or high profile corporate issues, then yes, the atmosphere can be quite tense. Have a look at the movie Devil’s Advocate or the Ghosts of Mississippi to have some sort of idea. Working there can be quite fulfilling though.You’re exposed to very intelligent people and not so intelligent people also (there are dumb lawyers after all). The bottom line here though is that you’ll never find out or have an idea if you don’t go there and get to fell it for yourself.
Now for the harder question. Should you go to the interview? I think you should. It used to be thought that guys have to bring home the bacon and provide for the family while the wife stays home with the kids. More and more, that idea is being challenged and women are really proving themselves in the work place so much so that guys get threatened.
Another issue here is that your mother does understand having provided for you before. It’s just that she knows how hard it is and she doesn’t want you o go through that. It’s normal for a parent to think about that without sometimes realizing that her baby is now a woman and is soon to be a parent also.
Stand your ground with her. Parents aren’t all that dense though we sometimes seem to be. Sooner or later she’ll realize that you have to stand up for your life and your own young family’s life. It’s actually better that you want to be responsible rather than just be the recipient of dole-outs from her.
A thing to consider though: who’ll be taking care of the baby if you go off to work? Maybe that’s another factor your mother is thinking of. You should make sure that your baby is well taken care of and that, even if you are tired from work, you are still able to have fun and take care of your baby. What some people do is they allow the husband to work alone for around two to three years and when the baby is that age, then the motther starts working also to augment the income.
Whatever you do, make sure you have your priorities straight: your baby.
Going to work is not a matter of independence or having money for what you want. Working is now a matter of that still but more importantly, it’s a matter of having the funds to provide for diapers, formula, baby clothes, toys, medicine, check-ups, etc.
Your mom cares for you and you seem to have a responsible enough partner. It’s now a question of how you can contribute positively to this situation.
Take care of your family, pray a lot (together) and you’ll be fine.
ErickMarch 8, 2007 at 4:39 am #15676jasmine7312007
I worked at a law firm and i quit after 2 months. Lawyers can be mean, and i worked at what would be called the ambulance chasers of the corporate world, class action lawsuits and they were cheap. The benefits weren’t good.
Anyway working at a law firm may mean mandatory overtime.It is not that physically demanding.
As you are 14 weeks you will need to find a job soon if you want to work b/c most people will not want to hire a pregnant woman even though it is illegal to discriminate. If you are visibly pregnant you may not get the job and you will not know why to prove it is discrimination. Try doing a part time job, which is flexible and since you will not have any benefits they prolly will hire you as a pregnant woman.
The choice is yours. I am working full time and I am 19 weeks pregnant. I really don’t have the choice b/c I am supporting myself and this baby and I make much more than the dad does. You can work it out but you will have to get something quick because your pregnacy is unfortunately seen as a liablity (your maternity leave) in a business perception.
Good luckMarch 10, 2007 at 5:19 am #15745haley
hun its different for everyone some of us our pregnancies wont allow us to work but some of us are lucky like me for instnce im going to be induced in 4 days and im still working as a matter of fact i work at McDonalds… im the man well basically their only american closer…lol i work any where from 50 to 65 hours a week so yeah it just really depends on ow your pregnancy is gong and if you want to work…. its your choice no one elses
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