- This topic has 11 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated by .
April 15, 2010 at 11:06 pm #26982DaniBell
So my guy and I have been together about 10 months now and we are soon to be married :]
We both lost our virginity to each other in feb. and since that our relationship and grown. I love him so much!
Although I have a problem..u might say? I am yearing for a child? I have found myself watching, reading, and listenign to anything I can get my hands on about becoming prego, and haveing a child.
I’m on “the pill” because I dont need to get prego. My guy wants children just not at the moment.
The pill is great and he doesnt pull out at all…still not prego. I took a test the other day and the 2nd pink line didnt show up…I became melancholy almost sad.
Do any other girls feel this way? I know its wrong to think this….
I know I meant to be a mother. My bf and I are moving out in June to our own place and if a baby comes I know we would manage the expenses…
So someone plz help. I need advice. Thank u :]
:huh:April 17, 2010 at 10:40 am #26987Meg11
As women most of us are born with a built in longing for children, our bodies were made to reproduce….there is nothing abnormal or strange about your craving for a child, however due to the fact that you are not married and that your boyfriend has clearly stated he does not want a baby right now I would strongly encourage you to wait….keep reading, keep learning, take some parenting classes, babysit, save up money, invest in a nice crib if you feel like it, get all those things out of the way, save up for your wedding, plan it and follow through with it, then…..open the baby flood gates and welcome your little family members, as many as you want!! But honey, a 10 month relationship is not that long in the scheme of commitment, the fact that you lost your virginity to each other is a huge bonus but you still really need to let your relationship stand the test of time before you try for a baby….see I have learned the hard way…twice…my kids are the ones who have to suffer for it…I have also known of many couples who planned their wedding, then got pregnant, postponed the wedding and never ended up following through with it…then breaking up…it is a horrible cycle and I don’t want that for you…please do not rely on the pills alone, they are not 100% effective and you can still become pregnant…you two have only been having sex for the last 2 months right? So whats the rush, you spent 8 with no sex, maybe now that you know each other in that way and most likely have no complaints take a step back and enjoy the other areas of your relationship and allow the sexual tension to build back up, it will be good for your wedding night and I know that neither of you would regret waiting longer…then you don’t have the pregnancy risk or scare…like I said though, it is very normal to want that baby…I had my tubes tied for medical reasons and although I am fixed and have been through pregnancy 3 times I still long for another baby in my arms…it is in our blood!! However acting on that longing at the wrong time may bring a lot of complications…life is complicated enough on a good day…just give it time and do things slowly and responsibly and you will find a ton of blessing to follow!! Love MegApril 19, 2010 at 10:15 pm #26995DaniBell
Thanks so much for the reply^^
Yes, I do think It’s a womenly instinct and I also know your right. I guess I’m just so in love him and wanting to experience everything that comes with finding “the one” We are saving up for our wedding..and that will come in time just like a baby will.
I need to be realistic. It’s hard becuase I know what my heart wants but then my mind kicks in and loads all the complications on top of things. I’m just gonna take one step at a time…I know his fam would blow a fit if something like that happened. I don’t want to put him through that.
Thanks so much again 🙂April 27, 2010 at 2:02 am #27036DaniBell
Any other advice?April 27, 2010 at 3:20 am #27038delyciouzxma
I can relate. I’ve wanted a baby for soooo long now. I always joke that God is intentionally only putting bad guys in my path because he knows once I find Mr. Right I’m gonna get knocked up immediately. I’m nineteen now and there was a time where I planned on having my first child at 19. Now I’m thinking 21 is good. =)April 27, 2010 at 10:32 pm #27045DaniBell
Ya exactly. ;p 21 is a good age but it seems so far away lol. I guess right now if I get prego I know I could manage and take care of the things I need to. Yes it will be hard..but I have support.May 2, 2010 at 1:31 am #27063ox-Becca-xo
I know how you feel too. I know that this is a very wrong time for me to have a baby, since I’m in high school and don’t have a job, but part of me still kind of wants one. I thought i was the only one until I read this. I guess it really is just an instinct, the important part is that we don’t give in for the sake of the children of our futures. It would be better to wait.May 4, 2010 at 1:59 am #27069DaniBell
nope your not the only one. It is good to wait even though my heart doesnt want to and it makes me a lil sad from time to time…I must.
lamo Its kind of like my body is telling me ok! its time! Your at prime start poppin them out :p! lolMay 12, 2010 at 4:04 am #27096lakenzie
When I was very little I had dreams of having childern young. I still do and I’m in the same boat as you. I am on the pill, which dissapointingly works very well. I do not use any other contreseption either. On the other hand Josh and I have talked about having childern now. The only thing holding me back really is my mother and what she would think if I told her I stopped my birth control pill. I am, however, glad to know I’m not the only one. Everything makes me want a baby. That’s what makes it so hard. I just know in my heart it is ment to be. I only have the problem of explaining that to everyone else. I get very anxious every month for my period not to show and am sadly dissapointed every time.May 12, 2010 at 11:20 pm #27097DaniBell
wow! I know exactly how you feel! My pill works tooo good at times :[ ya i take a prego test every month and instead of getting happy i get dissapointed. Its getting better now…im not desperate anymore….but all the time im thinking could i be carrying his child now?
And you are definitely not aloneMay 13, 2010 at 1:49 am #27100LooneyToonChula13
i honestly think there is a lot of girls who want kids like rite now! lolz im one of themMay 13, 2010 at 10:22 pm #27102DaniBell
Ya for realz. I wonder why? I mean our society has drilled it into our heads that all we are supposed to want it lots of sex without the messes? And why is our society making us feel like the children we have (at any age) is a disease? I dont get it?
- The forum ‘After the Choice’ is closed to new topics and replies.