- This topic has 10 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated by .
November 7, 2007 at 7:42 pm #19452kafina18
hey well i’m not pregnant but i was still wondering. i mean if you are not married or engaged but has been with your bf for like 3 months and know him for 8 months whose last name does the child get. i know this would be something for him and i to decide but i’m not sure. he wants the child to get his last name but i’m thinking if we dont work out and the child has his last name he might file for custody but i’m not sure because he does not seem like that type of person. i just need to know how some people handled this type of situation. if you’re with a guy and he really wants this child but you know that the relationship is not going to last, whose last name is best to give the child? thanks for any help given.November 7, 2007 at 11:11 pm #19456Meg11
So my question would be are you asking for a friend or are you thinking you and your boyfriend are going to try for a baby?? If you are asking for a friend the status of the relationship, how long, married, unmarried, one night stand does not decide the last name for the baby. Ultimately it is up to the mom. I gave my daughter my Maiden name. I was not married to her dad and I actually had a restraining order on him. I told him that if he Stood Up to be a dad I would change her name to his last name. Her name is still my maiden name, he never Stood Up. My son has his dads last name. He is still in and out of his life but more in lately. I knew that his family would be supportive and I know how they are about "passing on the name". He may have abandoned me in pregnancy but his family was there for me. It would have been a huge slap in the face to not give their grandson the last name. It wasn’t such a big deal with my daughter because when she gets married one day her name will change but my son will keep his name and pass it on. Now if you are thinking about having a baby with your boyfriend I would stop in your tracks and think really hard. If you have known him for 8 months, been his girlfriend for 3 months and you are not sure if the relationship will last you shouldn’t even be having sex much less thinking of having a baby. I hope he is not pressuring you. Have you talked with your parents about this?? I know it is kind of scary to do that but even if they get upset with you for a while they will step in and protect you from making a life changing decision. Please write to me at email@example.com if you want to share anything with me that you don’t want public, I would love to help you find some answers. Also if the baby had the dads last name it wont affect custody. Having your last name on a baby doesn’t prove that you are the better parent or that you should be the one who keeps the baby. I hope to hear from you soon…Love MegNovember 7, 2007 at 11:37 pm #19458randomchyck220
My situation kinda sucks lol. I’m almost 4 months pregnant, 12 weeks :] andd ive been thinking about this. My last name is very unique, and its french and has a long history. Its Lachelier. But, my boyfriend’s last name is Condon. Andd not that i don’t like his name buttt like its so close to the word condom, and people crack little jokes all the time and its stupid i know, people need to grow up. But i think i should really keep my last name and our son or daughter will have my last name & i dont wanna upset my bf at the same time lol. so what do i do?November 8, 2007 at 4:13 pm #19475kez_mummy_2_skye
i get what u mean with the picking on last names. Usually the kid takes the fathers last name but its up to the parents, OR you could have both names if its what u like. My maiden last name is Bush and you can imagine what kind of crap i copped at school. I couldnt wait to change mine when i got married:)November 9, 2007 at 10:34 am #19486kafina18
okay well the story is about me and well the situation is really weird cause i might leave and go live with my mum far away and if i do get pregnant it would be better for the child to have my last name. but then again i’m not trying to get pregnant, i just wanted to know what some women would do in this situation. but thanks for the advice anywaysNovember 11, 2007 at 4:33 pm #19500KylieAUS
The baby gets whatever last name you want to give it. My daughter has my last name, not her fathers, and my next baby will have my last name too. The theory with my daughter getting my last name is that she would be living with me so it would be easier. Dont feel pressure to let your bf/fiance have naming rights just because he is the father.November 12, 2007 at 6:21 am #19502washuchan
Its really based on the circumstance. Like mine before i messed up in january i would have given the child his last name. I knew he would stay and gladly give up his military career if need me. I immeditily started going out with him the 2nd day we actually talked in depth. If you know theyre going to stay for support and vistitations, known them for a long time id have his last name. If i had a iffy feeling and scared of him leaving my last name.November 12, 2007 at 9:53 am #19503breathless
Well since I’m not married to my boyfriend when my son was born he was automatically baby Graham (my last name) but on the birth certificate his last name is Vickers (my boyfriend). I think that usually the Father’s last name is what the baby gets unless decided otherwise. You can also combine both last names (someone else said that as well) or I’ve heard you can give them a whole new last name which I think is weird but apparently you can!!November 12, 2007 at 1:13 pm #19510Ch3y_IS_BACK
frst of all if you know the relashionship aint’ gonna last don’t bother having a baby with the guy…that would be selfish of you and inconsiderate of the child…secondly if you do have a kid give it a double barrell name that begins with your name that way you can just drop it off the end if the dad drops off in the end….problem solved…XNovember 12, 2007 at 10:47 pm #19532newmother007
i gave my daughter her father’s last name. that is because if him and i stay together and get married, we will all have the same last name. but if we seperate,and i was to marry another man, then she would have a different last name than me no matter what.
if you don’t name the father on the birth certificate, then give it your last name.
my personal preference is that if the father is going to be a part of his child’s life, then he deserves to have his last name given to the child.November 14, 2007 at 4:46 pm #19585justkeepsmilin
II AM CURR3NTLY 16 N ALF WEEKS PREGNANT TH3 BBYS DAD AND I R NOT TGETH3R AS IT WAS A ONE NIIGHT STAND BUT WE GET ON WELL AND E IS PROPA CARIIN AWAIS WANTS TO NO HOW ME N THT BBY R AT FIRST HE WASNT TO PLEASED BUT NOW E IS SO XCYTED HE AS ASKED IF BBY CAN HAV HIS SURNAME I AV SE YES BECAUSE I THINK A CHILD SHUD AV HIS FATHERS AME IF THE DAD GUNNA B IN ITS LIFE THT MYOPIINIION
- The forum ‘Personal Experiences – Just Let It Out!’ is closed to new topics and replies.