This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Brenda Simons .
- March 8, 2007 at 3:35 pm #15705
My daughter recently passed because of prematurity. She lived five days and died shortly after my mother and father in law. Now, that they are all burried, I feel like I would like to be pregnant again. Like this would make the pain go away. I had an abortion in 2005 and being pregnant in 2006 helped me get over it to a certain extent. The problem is my bf doesnt agree with me this time. He doesnt think that we are ready and he is right, I KNOW IT. i had my baby exactly a month ago and everything has been so unstable since. He misses his mom and her support and I cant replace that, and I cant do anything to help him and his situation. I just want to be pregnant and forget that I ever gave birth or that any of this stuff has happened to me. I wanna feel like Ive just been pregnant for longer, and I know it sounds stupidly mad, but I want this to help me get over this period. I also think that Im going into postpartum depression, or it could just be depression or a feeling of being lost to the whole world, any advice is appreciated . ThanksMarch 10, 2007 at 8:28 am #15756
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have been through a season in my life where it seemed like everyone around me was dying. My friend who was engaged to my mom then my sister had an abortion (we were preg at the same time so everytime I look at my daughter I imagine her cousin we never met) then my mom died. All of this was in a months time. I sometimes work for the funeral home my mom was in. I help out with viewings. I have been through so much hurt and pain in my life so when I am at a funeral or a viewing and someone is hurting I can see it and almost feel their pain and I have had many opportunities to just give hugs or words of encouragement. I would not be able to do that if I had not been through it myself. Maybe you will find a way to reach out to those in your situation. It brings so much healing and restoration. I agree with your boyfriend that right now may not be the best timing. Having a baby will not "make up" for the two you have lost. Nor will it take away the hurt of your Bf’s parents loss. The only thing that has helped me deal with my pain hurt and loss (not stuffing it away or hiding it) has been Jesus. You can call me a broken record because I say that alot or you can call me a "little church girl" or anything else you want…it doesnt bother me. All I know is that I have experienced healing from the Lord and I have experienced His deliverance. I have not always been a "little church girl" and I used to be Gods enemy but He loved me first and thats why I love Him. He cared for my wounds that I sometimes inflicted on myself by making poor choices. And yes sometimes He lets me taste the bitterness of the messes I make. But this I know for sure and swear on it with my whole heart. God loves you and me and everyone else He has created. He wants the best for us all. And if you seek Him with your whole heart He will be found by you. If you call out to Him in this time of greif and confusion He will pull you out of the sinking mud and set your feet upon a rock. I hope and pray that you will let Him touch your life and that when He does you will know it and embrace it. I hope and pray that you will bask in His blessings and that one day you will have a family of your own. Life is hard whether you believe in God or not but it sure is nicer to have Him to carry you through times like this. I am praying for you…Take care…MegMarch 10, 2007 at 10:05 am #15761
There is nothing wrong with the way your thinking, you just wan’t to be happy and for most weman their happy when their pregnant. Your not stupid your sad and it’s understandable, you need time for your self. When my dad and gramdpa past away I was thinking the samething, it’s not a good idea to get pregnant right now, it’s not going to make things easier for you. Right now you need support, frineds and some time to think got everything put back together. I am really sorry for your loss. I hope your boyfriend and you find some happienss and can start over. I wish you all the best!!!March 11, 2007 at 12:05 pm #15781
At this point, it wouldn’t really be a good idea to be pregnant. Both you and your boyfriend are emotionally exhausted and the baby shouldn’t need to feel that. I think the best thing you can do right now is to be with each other and solidify the relationship that you have.
Your boyfriend is down and it would be good for you to devote more time to him. You also are down yourself and he needs to concentrate on you. Strengthen yourselves for and with each other. Once you two have gone through your depressions, then you can grow together again and start building your lives together. Only then can you really be ready to handle another baby.
Please understand, a baby’s arrival isn’t just for you, to lift up your lives. You have to do that on your own and you have to welcome your baby with as healthy a family as you can manage — financially and emotionally.
Please take care of yourself and each other.
ErickMarch 11, 2007 at 3:50 pm #15783
It’s totally normal for you to feel this way with all these terrible events happening within a short time. So don’t feel that you are stupid in any way.
I think you need some time to grieve(sp) and then the next step for you is to have a little family. It wont matter what happens, you will never forget your little baby and nothing will take the pain away, so stay strong and oif you need help through depression, talk to someone about it and get some help.
Good Luck Darlz.March 13, 2007 at 9:03 am #15814
what u are experiencing is to an extent postpartum depression, and also oyu are going through the stages of grief and loss…talk to ur doctor about a medication that could help the depression….
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