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September 19, 2007 at 4:03 am #18826breathless
I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 21, I am 8 months pregnant with our little boy Odin. Neil has a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I am so terrified of becoming pregnant again after I have Odin and I DO NOT want anymore children, I am seriously considering getting my tubes tied but the nagging thought that I may want children again one day still bothers me to no end. My mother said that I should put off getting my tubes tied and that Neil should get a vasectomy instead because he’s already had two kids and he’s older but this is confusing to me because we’re planning on getting married so why would it mattered who got "fixed"? This is frustrating to me because although I’ve heard about and done a bit of research on reversals, they’re not guaranteed to work and cost a lot of money, fallopian tube reversals cost 1,000 to 3,000 and vasectomy reversal costs 5,000 to 10,000 and up! So what do you think I should do? I don’t trust either of us to play it safe ALL the time, and I couldn’t imagine the thought of having another baby, I only want one child so I can focus all my love and affection on him…I just worry about the unknown. What should I do?September 20, 2007 at 3:21 am #18838Meg11
First off I want to tell you to not get your tubes tied at 15…my sister was a single mom for almost 11 years and she had 3 kids and 3 abortions…after her last abortion she was so torn apart that she decided to get her tubes tied….just months after getting her tubes tied she net her husband…all his family wants is a grandchild…they are on the verge of divorce because his parents lay it on so thick…it is going to cost them alot of money to have baby and the stress is tearing them apart…if my sister would have quit having sex until she was married she would not have had to worry about pregnancy again…but…she would have rather had sex when she felt like it and not have to "get another abortion"…now she is in a very tough spot because of her drastic choices…so please don’t jump to quickly into something you will regret…second the fact that your boyfriend is 21 and you are 15 is TOTALLY ILLEGAL…I know you are used to hearing that but I had to say it…. it is true…your mom right now may be telling you to have him get "fixed" because it is a way to keep you from getting pregnant and she doesn’t think your relationship will last…what about the woman he has a 3 yr old with??? were they married?? does he pay support?? Does he have visitations?? Why didn’t his past relationship work out?? Have you asked him these questions?? I am sorry if this comes out wrong but what does a 21 year old man have to do with a 15 yr old girl??? It has nothing to do with you but rather him…it shows that your maturity excels most 15 yr olds but what does it say about him?? why can’t he get a girlfriend his own age?? this hits a very personal note with me because I had to "protect" my friends from my brother who likes little girls…he is 5 years older than me and you know what when I was 15 he was hitting on my friends…he was recently arrested for having sex with a 16 year old…it was concentual in her eyes but he had no business persuing a relationship with her at his age…I don’t tell many people this but my brother sexually abused me and my sister when we were kids…he still goes after young girls…something is not right with him…and I am sorry if this makes you angry with me but why does your boyfriend want to be with a girl who is 6 years younger than him, he is out of high school, old enough to be on his own and start his family with someone who is old enough to be on her own…why does he choose a girl who cannot be on her won yet?? that send red flags all over the place…Don’t get your tubes tied and please research this guy a lot more before you continue to have sex with him much less marry him…talk with his ex…is she closer to your age or his age?? why did they split?? does she feel comfortable with him taking their daughter alone…sorry to be so blunt and honest but this is a huge issue and if you were my daughter I would want to know these things…when it comes to a 6 year age difference it is not all that bad…depending on the ages…15 and 21 is just not acceptable…maybe 26 and 32 but not 21 and 15…this guy has issues and I hope things work out but I am worried for you and your mom should be looking out for you a whole lot more than she is…don’t get your tubes tied, if you are worried about pregnancy then stop having sex until you are married and once you are married then learn more about options for birth control…I hope you can hear my heart…Love MegSeptember 29, 2007 at 4:50 pm #18880roddi
Please give it much thought before doing any form of permanent birth control. You are young & have many child bearing years ahead of you. Talk to your doctor about the many forms of birth control. If it were my choice? I like the Nove ring. I have a friend that had her tubes tied after the birth of her twin girls. Her 4th & 5th child. She is now in a new relationship. He does not have a child of his own. She now regrets having her tubes tied. She is also having more painfull periods because of her choice. Please give it much thought & prayer. Talk to your doctor to find the just right birth control for you. I pray that this has been helpfull to you. Roddi:
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