This topic contains 17 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by Tracey Flanagan .
- March 11, 2009 at 1:44 am #24400
hi im new to the site found it when i was looking for early signs of pregnancy! basicly i was told to stop taking my pill by my doctor for health reasons about a month and a bit ago & about 3 weeks ago my boyfriend was down & everyday for like 12 days we had unprotected sex…i completly forgot i wasn’t on my pill. i don’t know if it could mean im pregnant or not but from what i’ve been reading i’ve been having some early syptoms, i have not yet missed a period (im due on in about a week) and i have not had any sickness, although i have had incredibly tender & sore breasts, very suttle twinges & slight cramping in my tummy & lower abdomen, i have been having a lot of headaches, i have been constipated & had increased discharge (nothing like an infection though) & my moods have been very unpredictable & i have felt very tired & run down a lot of the time…does it sound like i could be pregnant? jenni xMarch 11, 2009 at 4:04 am #24403
Best advice I can give is treat your body like you have/haven’t missed your period. If you do take test if you are take it from there. BIG THING>>>DON’T STRESS ABOUT IT!March 11, 2009 at 5:04 am #24406
It does sound like you may be. I cannot say for sure, but if you had unprotected sex during that time period that frequently….then the chances that you hit your ovulation day is VERY HIGH! The only sure way to know is to go to your clinic to have a blood test done. But wait until you are late for your period. They are very accurate. If you do not want to get pregant, I would suggest you stop having sex, TODAY!! You could still be within your ovulation period since you still have a week before your period is due. If you aren’t pregnant yet, you could become pregnant. You are unprotected and having sex….that will produce a baby!! Is that what you want right now? If not, then do some thinking and make changes in your lifestyle.
myangelsinheavenMarch 11, 2009 at 7:14 am #24407
wait a week n take a test hun. best of luck!!
xox Enya.March 11, 2009 at 6:36 pm #24410
thanku for your advice, in your opinions is it more likely that i sound pregnant or just like im going to come on my period? i have never experienced these syptoms before coming on a period.March 12, 2009 at 10:20 pm #24419
i have also started to get more cramping, feeling sick & dizzy spells…March 12, 2009 at 10:40 pm #24420
Symptoms vary from one women to another, and as you get older your symptoms may change. There are similar symptoms with pms and early pregnancy…but because of your worrying about what has happened you could be overly sensitive and paying more attention to them now because of the possibility that you may have gotten pregnant.
You wouldn’t be the first to feel this way, it’s a lot to think about isn’t it? Is this a planned pregnancy? Would you be able to tell your parents about this baby if you are? Are you and your boyfriend in agreement that having a baby now is the best thing? There are so many things to consider. I am not trying to cause you more stress right now, but I’m not afraid to advise you to reconsider your lifestyle with your boyfriend.
If you get your period next week or even if it’s a day or two late..(which could happen), think about how your life is now, and what it is you feel is best. Continuing to have sex, either unprotected or not, will increase your risks of contracting a disease as well as the possibility of you becoming pregnant. It’s common sense!! If you are feeling right now that you wish you had said, “no” to your boyfriend so that you wouldn’t be in this position, then that is your concience telling you it is not the right thing to be doing. No matter what your girlfriends may be doing, is this what you want for yourself? Do you want to go into your young adult life, or into your first marriage saying, “I wish I had waited!” Will it really matter in a few years if you talked to your boyfriend and told him that you would like to wait for marriage to be in this situation?
I will pray that you will have the courage to stand up for this baby if you are pregnant….but if you aren’t pregnant, the road doesn’t end there. You have to make some mature decisions about your life or your actions will put you into a situation that you may not want.
My prayers are with you,
myangelsinheavenMarch 12, 2009 at 11:37 pm #24421
hay i was in the same situation but sometimes if you kepp thinking that your body starts to prepare its self as if you were pregnant so its 50/50 go to babycenter.com and use the ovulation tracker and it’ll tell you your fertile days then go and do the due date calculator if it adds up then u might be also buy the first response test you can use it 5 days before your cycleMarch 13, 2009 at 2:01 am #24424
i do know all this, we have both been tested for sti’s and are clean, if we had a baby it wouldnt be the worst thing in the world & are in a financial situation where we can afford it. telling both parents wouldn’t phase me its my life. im very mature for my age.March 14, 2009 at 6:37 pm #24445
I hope everything goes well for you and your boyfriend. Hopefully there will be a wedding soon, since you’ve decided that a baby is welcomed. There’s no reason not to if you and he are so committed to one another, enough to accept a baby. Like you said, you seem to be very mature for your age, so I’m sure you understand how important it is that a child feels secure within a family.
God bless your decision,
myangelsinheavenMarch 14, 2009 at 10:45 pm #24446
i fond out yesterday i am pregnant, i dont know how far gone i am although im estimating about a month, i had worked my menstural cycle out wrong so i had already missed a period whilst writing on here, im determined to keep the baby although the father has left me & i am facing the prospect of being a single parent despite what he had said before. this isnt fazing me and i refused to get stressed about it. all i have to do now is tell my mum tonight which could be a little difficult but im hoping she will be ok then im going to the doctors tuesday! thanku every1 xMarch 15, 2009 at 7:50 am #24459
Hey Jenni, you and I are in a similar situation, except that I am not so sure whether i am pg or not.. (although my period is now 5days late) I am very proud of you for deciding to keep your child, and you should be too! Im sorry about your bf but who knows maybe its for the best? I would suggest writing your mom a letter or taking her out for coffee or something and then telling her. best of luck, please keep us updated! May i ask your age btw? im 16.
xox Enya!March 15, 2009 at 4:05 pm #24464
im 18, i havent yet had the courage to tell my mum but i am going to today! the father has now told me he wants nothiing to do with me or our baby so i am going to have to go through the RAF and CSA to get money off him as hes refusing to give me anything, he has told me not to bother giving him any updates on the baby & just wants to know when it is born, but is refusing also to sign the birth certificate. He obviously isn’t gonna make this easy for me but im determiined to do it on my own now, i already know i have the support of my friends and hoppe i have the support of my family.
enya, take a test it will ease your mind and if u r pregnant i hope u keep the baby as u will regret an abortion.
jenni xMarch 15, 2009 at 11:43 pm #24467
Firstly congrats on the pregnancy and for deciding to keep your baby 🙂
and then with regard to telling yr mum… be honest and sincere. Also make sure that you tell them when they’re calm- tension just creates more tension.
Give them a chance to absorb the news and then discuss it calmly. Listen to what they have to say; but since you’ve already come to a decision, make sure they’re aware that you want to keep the baby and how you came to yr decision.
Parents also need reassurance, so make sure they know that you plan on finishing school/ college.
Hope this helped a bit.
Evangeline xoxoxoMarch 16, 2009 at 11:51 pm #24472
thanks for the advice. i have told my mum now she was ok at first but now is being a completetly horrible person to me. the father has changed his mind and wants to be involved when he can due to his job and the distance.
jen xMarch 17, 2009 at 2:12 am #24474
ok so the father hates me but wants to be involved! im a disapointment to mine and his family! i want my baby but i feel so lonely and am beginning to doubt myself! my close friends i told r rele supportive and said i will be a brill mum but i feel so low…please some1 help!May 10, 2009 at 11:28 am #25071
I’m new to this. Just do what feels right for you!!! Your a strong person and just wiat til your parents see their grandchild they will be nothing but proud of you, I had a friend in the same situation now her son is almost one and her parents adore the little thing!!!
I know its hard but tough it out and you’ll be amazed at how people can change their opinions!!!!
Good luck and let me know how your doing!!!May 12, 2009 at 6:37 am #25080
I’m sorry I was sick for a little while and wasn’t here to reply.
People can be horribly cruel and detached, come and go in and out of our lives, and withhold love from us for selfish reasons. Why is it that the ones that say they love us one day…..turn around and abandon us the next? Fear, pride and selfishness.
If you think of all the things that has happened with your boyfriend in the past…you may be able to associate his actions to one of these three.
I’m sorry you’re having to go through a difficult time, when you should be commended for your courageous spirit. Don’t let your mother’s weakness burden you and cause you to doubt your ability to carry your baby full term. You CAN do this!!
Your mother may just need some reassurance herself, or a comforting word from you. We have to help lift others up or carry them through difficult times until they can absorb some of our strength and walk on their own. This is new for your mother as well and she could possibly be acting out in fear. We tend to lash out and displace anger towards those that are closest to us when we’re overwhelmed by it.
I have learned along the way, in some situations, when I realize that a loved one is completely off with their behavior in some way, the best thing for me to do is to be confident but silent in my disagreement with their behavior or attack. By not engaging in the arguement they so desperately want me to play a part in, or by respectfully standing up for myself with love and detachment from them, I’ve taken back control of my life and made some boundaries for them. I’ve had to say, “I love you, and want you to be a part of my life, but if you continue to act this way, you will only be hurting yourself”.
You are essentially saying, “You may not agree with what I’m doing but you don’t have the right to break me down and treat me this way”.
You may have to wait awhile before they can come to accept your choice and ‘their role’ in your baby’s life. We are all here for you and are VERY proud of you for giving your baby a chance. A decision like this has lasting effects on people’s lives that may take years for them to realize. What a wonderful opportunity you are giving them……by saying “Yes” to the life of your baby, YOU are giving the baby’s father and your mother an opportunity to become selfless, to put someone else first, and you’re giving them a chance to be a little vulnerable. Vulnerable to the healing power of an innocent baby.
Best wishes and support,
Your friend in motherhood
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