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March 10, 2008 at 8:56 pm #20597katinahat
I’m in a fantastic new relationship with a wonderful guy, and I found out a few weeks ago that I’m pregnant. The child is my ex’s. Telling my boyfriend was nerve-wracking, but he’s been incredibly supportive and kind. However, I feel like it’s going to put too much pressure on the relationship. I love my boyfriend and it’s a relationship that will last a long time, if we don’t rush things: we need time to be us.
I feel like I have to choose between him and the baby. I know he knows this, and he says I don’t have to choose. His family are lovely and supportive of every decision he takes, and I have a good relationship with them. Again, I don’t want to put too much strain on this or have them hate me.
In a year’s time we would’ve been ready for children. We’ll find a way to be ready now, but it just scares me that we’ll get too serious too soon and then split because of it.
Anyone got any ideas or advice? Thanks.March 10, 2008 at 10:37 pm #20598Meg11
I understand what you feel right now, I found out I was pregnant right before I was going to break up with my boyfriend, I felt like I had to stay with him and give him a chance, for the baby you know…well we ended up splitting up after a bout a month anyways and I ended up in a great relationship a few months later, he knew I was pregnant and his family called my unborn child their grandchild…they received me and baby and loved us soooo much, I felt kind of strange that they would be so accepting of me being pregnant with someone else’s kid and in a relationship with their son…we ended up not working out anyways because we were seeking different directions in life but he would still take me to dinner sometimes and I was always invited to family events..after my daughter was born I got back with her dad and he forbid me to be involved with that family, he was jealous, but they still loved me and would say hi if they saw me at the store…my daughter even recognized "grandpa Jim’s" voice outside the womb from when he would talk to her in my belly…eventually my relationship with her dad failed again and I got back together with the great guy for long enough to end up pregnant…he bailed and it hurt so bad, he cared for me when I was pregnant with someone else’s child but not his own…his family has stood by me through thick and thin and they still treat my daughter like their own, even now that I am married to another man and pregnant with his child they check up on me to see how me and baby are and give Christmas gifts not only to my son and daughter but to my stepson as well…this family who has loved on you right now sounds very much like my "adopted" family…do not choose anyone over your baby, especially when they are asking you not to…if they love and care for you now they will love and care for you no matter what happens with your relationship with this guy…imagine choosing him over your baby and then having the relationship fail and being left with no one….if you still have your baby at least you will have each other no matter who comes and goes…being a single mom with no definite knowledge of what the future holds is a tough thing but it can be so rewarding and there will be help and love along the way, but if you "get rid" of your child you will not get rid of the fact that you are still a mom, just to a child that was never given a chance, you will have the pain and regret and it doesn’t increase your chances of success with this guy, maybe "getting rid" of your child will make him resent you and think that if he got you pregnant you would do that to his child too….you can do this, be strong and give your baby the best chances of having a happy life…you don’t have to rush into things with him just because you are having a baby, you can still take things slow, and this baby may give you the chance to feel him out, test him to see if this is the man you want to marry, if he can love your child as his own it will be a good test to see what he will be like with his children one day, just don;t make and rushed decisions based on fear…this baby will be a blessing in your life, I have made it with two on my own and still found a wonderful husband, that makes your chances even higher right??…I am here if you want to talk more…Love Meg… firstname.lastname@example.orgMarch 11, 2008 at 7:19 pm #20614kez_mummy_2_skye
this is great that u can talk to him and he is supportive of you. There doesnt seem to be many good guys out there and the good ones are taken 🙂 Maybe this could be a good thing too. Congrats on the pregnancyMarch 15, 2008 at 7:32 am #20657rocky51
omg! your so lucky. i may be pregnant right now with an ex and my current boyfriend is FREAKING out.
he says " he just cant handle seeing me pregnant with another guys baby. he also says its because he loves me too much he cant stand to see me carrying another guys child."
which sounds legit but ughh. i wish my boyfriend was supportive.
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