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July 8, 2007 at 6:46 am #18106singapura11
Hey everyone…I’m not pregnant, haven’t been, and trying not to be which I guess is why I’m here. I’m 17 and on the pill. I started about a week ago, actually. My mom wanted me to start on it because I’m going to college next month and she wants me to be safe in case I do have sex.
Truth is, I’m not planning on it, or at least regularly. My boyfriend lives 2000 miles (4000 km) away and it’ll be even more once I fly away in two weeks to the US (I live in Singapore; he lives in Taipei. We met through Model United Nations and a public speaking competition). My parents know he exists but not that there’s anything going on between us. We’ve been going out now for about 3 or 4 months and it’s already pretty serious. We’re able to maintain a long-distance relationship very well, at least right now since we’re in the same time zone, but we have every intent of continuing even when we’re 12 time zones apart. I’m a year ahead of him so we’ll be on opposite ends of the world for a school year until he comes to the US for college.
I’m still a virgin but we’re trying to figure out at least two times to meet up before the year ends, so if those go through I won’t be one that much longer.
Anyway, to the point- I’ve read lots of your stories on here and they’re all so inspiring- they make me feel that I won’t actually have to give up my dreams if for some reason I do get pregnant. My education is very important to me (I’m going to college on a full ride to pursue a degree in international relations) and I don’t want to give it up. However, I’ve noticed that there have been cases of you who have been on the pill but ended up getting pregnant regardless. That’s what I’m scared of. What I want to know is if your pill wasn’t acting the way it should…you weren’t taking it right…or maybe you were and it just didn’t work. Really, I want to know how reliable the pill actually is.
My boyfriend loves me very much and would do anything to protect me so he’s willing to use a condom as well if I don’t think the pill is enough protection. He’s 17 as well and neither of us want to take on the responsibility of a baby anytime soon. If it does happen, though, I have supportive parents who would help me through and I know babies are given to us for a reason- to show us how to really love. Even though my parents have said they’ll help me out if that ever happens, I don’t want to take it as an excuse to take all the precautions I can.
Thanks go out to all of you girls and your inspiring stories- your children are lucky to have such loving parents! If anyone can give me some advice, I’d appreciate it so much. : DJuly 8, 2007 at 2:37 pm #18107Meg11
Hello there I’m Meg and I help out on the site…your questions really caught my attention….I lost my virginity at 13 and I remained sexually active for 10 years…in that time I was used, dumped, heartbroken, left feeling worthless and with two kids on my own….at the time when I found out I was pregnant with my second I made the choice to remain abstinent until marriage…I remained abstinent for 3 1/2 years and raised my kids alone in that time with no child support or family around…it was tough but I survived…I lost my "second" virginity on my wedding night almost 8 months ago and how it made me wish that I could have been strong enough to wait till my wedding night to have sex for the first time…I would never take back having my children, they are a total blessing and they have saved my life in many ways but I wish that I would have been married before I had them…I understand your mom wanting to put you on the pill if you are not going to be near for her to protect you and help you stay pure but birth control may help prevent pregnancy but it can never replace the purity that you have…it will not protect your heart from feeling used, it wont keep you from sleeping with someone else in the USA when you are far from home…I would really encourage you to hold on to your purity with all your strength…you can never have it back…when you are finished with school and go back to your home and reunite with your boyfriend just imagine how much more special it will be to have sex with him on your wedding night and know that you withstood the temptation to be like the rest of the world…if your love can withstand 12 timezones then you will have enough love to wait for marriage…if you are afraid that you will never sleep with him if you leave without doing it first then please examine those fears and ask yourself…"if we don’t think that we will reunite one day then why would we have sex, why would you have sex with someone that you are not sure will be waiting for you when you come back???" you have a very special gift that quite a few 17 year old don’t have anymore…virginity, purity, the chance to give yourself away for the first time on your wedding night….I didn’t get to give my husband that gift but the gift we gave each other was to not have sex until that night…it was worth the wait… I encourage you to do the same…Stand Up Girl…you can do it…also…I agree that the stories here are amazing…young single moms who make it through college and sometimes even high school with babies…they deserve a round of applause if not more…but..please don’t put yourself in the position to go through it…and like I said..birth control is not the answer…it is abstinence…keep your gift, it is so very valuable…you will never regret giving it to your future husband on your wedding night…I can promise…but…you may regret later on in life (like myself) not waiting…I hope this helps you and I really hope that you will be a Stand Up kind of Girl and Stand for Purity…Love MegJuly 9, 2007 at 2:35 am #18120MrsTWalsh
Well, I agree with Meg. Abstinence is the only sure way to prevent pregnancy.I wish that I would have taken that thought seriously when it was drilled into my head a million times as a young teen. I am so happy to have my son but I still deal with so much heartache and self-esteem issues from having different partners and then having them not work out and feeling more and more worthless. It’s hard because when you are in the moment most of the time you are thinking that this person is "the One" or at least that physical intimacy will deepen your relationship. In most cases, especially when we are young and changing our goals everyday that doesn’t happen. So then you try with the next person and the cycle continues. Each one of these encounters takes away a small piece of your heart. Your heart is your greatest asset so be careful with it.
I can honestly say that sex was not enjoyable for me until I had it with my husband. I’m not here to tell you what to do. Just to be a friend and share what life has taught me 🙂 ……………………………………… What an exciting adventure you are about to have. Enjoy the U.S. and college!July 10, 2007 at 4:47 am #18148LillieAunas_Mommy
The pill is pretty acurate as long as you take it the same time everyday. My sister who is on the pill got pregnant cause she skipped one day. If you have the option to get the Depro Prevera shot it is the best form of birth control it is 99.9% acurate. I am only 15 and I lost my virginity when I was 14 to my now fiance. If I could I would have waited just a couple more months cause at the time we had only been going out for 2 months. He is still faithful and we are now engaged. Good luck on your decision. If yo ever want to talk i’m here.
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