The hardest thing- UPDATED! and urgent!

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  • #19126
    AvatarJuelle

    I recently have discovered im pregnant and to be honest im not that scared about the whole thing. I am currently sixteen and will be seventeen in one month, living at my seventeen year boyfriend’s family’s house and I love it. His family is extremely supportive of me being here due to the fact that my dad is a drunk and lives with my abusive step mother. My mom had me at sixteen also, but bounced me around week by week so she could discover other people and is now living across the country with two of my beautiful half sisters and her husband but wants nothing to do with me due to the fact that I am not her new husband’s in blood child, she’d rather leave the life she had with my dad behind and that includes me.

    so, cutting to the chase im two months along and just two days ago found the courage through this website to tell my boyfriend’s mom. I thought she was going to freak but after I said thoes two horrific words " I’m pregnant" and began crying she immediatley told me to relax and calm down as its not good for the babyand that we would figure something out, we could make this work! to me this was awesome because I couldnt do what my parents had concidered doing with me and get an abortion and i have seen the adoption process in action and know that alot of the people around me who have gone through it have grown up feeling empty and lost without their birth parent. My boyfriends mom said to think long and hard about what im going to do and that no decision is totally right or wrong, she also added that many, many people have kept their babies and done fine.

    When I came home later that night I was so happy, i immediately told my boyfriend the news but instead of being happy that we have a choice he told me that if i didnt get the abortion he would commit suicide. I have been somewhat of a bad girlfriend in the past few days in that ive snooped to see what he is saying to other people, turns out that although he wants an abortion "so badly" that hes been going around telling half our school that im expecting which makes no sense.

    I have always known my boyfriend has an extremely almost babyish emoctional side but this tops it. When he cries and throws things every night telling me I have to get an abortion. But this baby is my right! and I know that. I really dont care what I have to do to make it so that my baby has a beautiful life but I know this life has to include its daddy. I need some input as to how to deal with him though, one friend has said that if he is comming out and saying that hes going to kill himself chances are he wont.

    Thankyou for your time and comments

    ______________________________________________________________

    Okay so its something like 5 days since I posted the above, thankyou for all the replies. Since I last posted my boyfriend and I have had some major breakthroughs. My boyfriend has learned about the process of abortion and decided that he cannot put me through that and is actually looking forward to the arrival of our baby. We have even come up with names, Nicole, Christina-ellizabeth, or caden for a girl and maren for a boy. To be honest we are both hoping for a boy.

    Although our recent success has been awesome there has been a new issue brought into the picture. My boyfriend’s mom has changed her mind… she wants an abortion now. She doesnt think her son and i are going to have good lives and that we are too young and cannot support our child when it is born and we are seventeen.She wants us to enjoy the prime of out lives. I do not want an abortion at all, this baby is everything to me. the only reason I would do it is to satisfy his mom.

    On hearing that his mom doesnt think our baby is a good idea mat is begining to agree again but does admit that he would love to have it. Im supposed to give my decision tonight so I need replies desperately please! I dont want to disappoint the woman who has given me a place to live in peace but i dont think I will be able to live with myself if I do this.

    #19127
    Avatarkez_mummy_2_skye

    first of all congrats to you on the pregnancy. Thats gotta be hard to deal with having a mother think of you like that, her own flesh and blood.
    I’m glad you have ppl that will support you with ur decision to keep bubz. She sounds like a sweet lady and at least she isnt one of those that is ramming it down ur throat to get rid of it. Great news, im happy for you!

    With your boyfriend, i reckon deep down he is happy he might be one of those guys that doesn’t show it….? maybe let him rest on it and he will hopefully be as excited as you. Dont let that "commit suicide" statement get to you, obviously those friends know him better and he said it out of the spare of the moment thing.

    With this story i think things will turn out perfect for you:)
    Good luck with the pregnancy and keep us updated. Love to hear what happens with you guys

    Kez

    #19141
    Avataralexanders_mama

    Congrats on the baby!:))
    Maybe he’s just afraid of how his life will change after the baby’s born?
    I really don’t think he’ll commit suicide, that’s a really common thing guys say to make girls have abortions, I’ve never of a case where they actually carried through with their actions.
    Give him time to rest on it, but I’d also suggest go out and beginning to make sure you have a strong support network right now.
    Hope that helped. All the best xx.

    #19148
    Avataramy.g.111

    Hey,

    Sounds like you havent had any easy ride with telling the father and how he has responded. Firstly my now ex boyfriend, who dumped me the day I told him I was pregnant, told me to have an abortion. I said I needed to think about it. I have since decided to keep my baby. I have told him but he hasnt responded to my text. So im facing the fact ill be a single mother raising my baby alone. I think you may need to accept that too. Its important that you can atleast raise the baby alone. Having the babys dad around is a bonus. Maybe he needs time to adjust. So give him time, thats what im doing right now. Men take things worse than women and he may feel different as he is not the one carrying the baby. So stick with your choice and best thing is to take each day as it comes.

    Take care xx

    #19157
    Avatarmommy6

    well congrats on your preg n its very good that your standing up to him n you know its your rite i think hes scared its the real deal did you try to talk to his mom about his issues maybe you 3 can sit down n talk about it. idk why he owuld go n tell everyone n than act like that unless paople are giving him bad reactions which still isnt there bussiness, i think you def wnat this baby n so does his fam so talk about this with his mom n see what can be done to have him over come this fear hes having n dont put your self in a dangerous sittuion if hes throwing things either.,good luck n cont being a stand up girl good luck!!

    #19220
    Avataralexanders_mama

    Hey…as I said before, that woman does not and will not live your life for you. In the end, the guilt and the conscience will be on you, and you will be the one who will have to deal with it for the rest of your life, wonder whether it was a boy or a girl for the rest of your life.
    I was 17, and JUST turned 17, when my son was born, and I was even alone, completely alone. And I’m still here on planet Earth together with my son (touch wood lol), living independently, and I’m halfway through my journalism degree. And if you’re going to have support, that’s going to make it even easier for you…
    We have food to eat, a roof over our heads, and just enjoying the time with my son dancing and reading books and laughing together…I don’t know about the prime of my life, and I’m sure I’m missing out on heaps of parties out there (in FACT i know there’s an 18th I got invited to right now in a club rite nxt to me), but I’m still having a really decent good time… I’m sure my son’s life is more important than that party, because I can go to some other one when I get a night off…
    Sry for the rant, I don’t know what to say, but listen to your heart. You said you didn’t want an abortion. You may want the woman to like you after all she’s done, but in the end hopefully she’ll come round. In most cases, people do. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

    #19221
    AvatarArya

    It’s really you who knows what’s best for you and for those around you. Just know that if ever your are going to abort this baby, keep in mind that it somewhat like murder. What’s worse is that you’re murdering your very own child. Try to talk to your boyfriend’s mom about this. Tell her how grateful you are for letting you stay in their home but then you have to tell her your side as well. You know in your heart that you love this child. Who knows, you might actally have a better life when you have the baby. It all depends on how you look at the situation. The baby is a part of you. Wouldn’t you want to see your little angel grow into someone so beautiful and so full of life?

    If you need more help, dear. I’m right here.:) I’m 17 years old as well so we can click in these kinds of things.

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