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July 8, 2007 at 11:02 pm #18116singapura11
Thanks a lot for your thoughtful response! I can’t even imagine losing my virginity at 13…my little sisters are 13! I really do appreciate it and I agree with many of the things you said and you clearly do have experience in the matter. I used to be a strong advocate of abstinence until marriage for myself until I realized that half of all US marriages end in divorce…the thought that you’d be waiting to give your gift away to someone who could leave you or cause enough problems that it destroys your love disturbs me but I guess it all comes down to trust and I trust my boyfriend very much. I don’t know, we’ll see. But thank you again. : ) It sounds like your children are blessings! How old are they? How old where you when you had them?July 9, 2007 at 10:20 am #18130Meg11
You are so very welcome…what is your name??? Now one thing I wanted to share with you also is that I understand being discouraged about the marriage statistics….it is a shame..but…do you know that people who are sexually active before marriage and especially people who have had multiple partners are more likely to have a failed marriage that ends in divorce….it is true…when you have had sex before marriage you have an expectation of what it should be like and when your expectations are not met then you are more likely to "look for someone else" and ruin your marriage…people who have had multiple sex partners tend to loose interest in their partner easily when the "newness and heat" wears off….every relationship goes through that…before I got married just catching a romantic stare from my now husband would get me all full of butterflies in my tummy…but now that we are married it takes alot more than that…not that I don’t desire him in that way because I can’t seem to have him enough but the "newness and heat" has worn off a bit…the world tells us that is is not normal and that if you don’t get tingly at the sight of your lover that "they just don’t do it for you anymore" and that you need to find someone new to "spice up your sex life"…that is a lie….I know people who have been married for over 30 some years that still sneak off and make out even when they have company over…I have "busted" then..LOL…your future marriage has way better chances of surviving if you wait to have sex then if you do before you are married….I have been "damaged" by having so much sexual experience…I love my husband and he is more than enough for me but when we are close I will sometimes have a though or an image of someone else go through my mind…that happens more with men but there is a small percentage of women who suffer with that involuntary flashback of images and events….I have no doubt in my mind that the things I exposed myself to in the past are the reason for that….my husband on the other hand has only been with 1 other person…his ex wife and they waited until marriage to have sex…his ex had a rough past and had a child when they got married…she had many permiscuous relationships and she didn’t know how to keep a commitment…he and his son have ultimately suffered for her decisions….she left him 3 months into marriage pregnant with his son and since then she has remarried and done the exact same thing…this time she left at 6 months pregnant with a girl and she is in the process of a divorce from the guy who paid for her first one…had we failed and had sex before marriage our chances of "survival" would be no where close to what they are….we committed to staying pure and keeping ourselves for marriage…we have committed our lives to each other and our "instant" family…we have committed to loving God and following His ways and forgiving each other when we fail to do so…we have been married for 8 months and have survived tearing down a house and putting a new one on the lot….a lot of marriages don’t survive "house projects" even after years of marriage and we pulled it off in the first 6 months of marriage…only true commitment and God can take the credit on that one…but never underestimate the power and strength of waiting until you are married to have sex…staying pure is like miracle grow for the love that is shared in marriage….if you love each other enough to wait then you will love each other to keep your vows….I hope this has helped clear up your thoughts and I hope you have made the most important choice you can make for your future marriage…abstinence…keep me posted…so where are you going to college in the states??? if you click quick reply at the bottom of the original post then your comment will stay in this particular forum posting….Love Meg
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