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February 25, 2008 at 6:41 pm #20493megomommy
First off I have a gorgeous amazing one month old daughter, who I love with every inch of me. Her fathers not around, but there is a ‘daddy’ figure in her life. My current boyfriend who has been with me throughout this whole thing(we were friends first and evolved into more). Anyways. I know I’m IN love with him. and I know sex isn’t the only way to express my love for him. We have never had sex. Since we met til this day.
I’m not sure if this is normal or not. but I want to have sex. BAD. I wasn’t like this throughout my entire pregnancy, but now I want to. But I’m TERRIFIED of getting pregnant. He doesn’t try to pressure me at all, he’s supportive and understands. I’m 17 and blessed with AMAZING SUPPORTIVE parents who let me and the baby live with them, but they had already warned me that if I were to get pregnant again I would have to leave, not that they don’t want me and my daughter here, just the fact of living in a small 4 bedroom house with 5, now 6 people.
I go for my 6 week check up on March 3, and am going to get birth control, not sure which one, I cannot do the pill though, I ALWAYS forgot the last time, so if you can give some input on that as well, it would be amazing.February 26, 2008 at 4:39 am #20496Meg11
First off congratulations on your new arrival…I can’t wait to have a new born in my arms again, they grow so quickly…I think it is great that you and your friend became an item, he must be a great guy to Stand by your side in the situation you are in, my husband loves my kids as his own and I think it is a more special kind of love than it takes to love even your own birth children, I think your relationship with him has the greatest potential first because it was built on an existing friendship and second because you have not had sex yet after all these months of being together….do not take that for granted, if sex is something that was not happening when you couldn’t get pregnant (because you already were) then why chance it now that you can?? I mean you mentioned getting on birth control at your 6 week visit but I think you have the greatest form you need for the moment, a Stand Up Guy who has not pressured you to have sex, who has already accepted your daughter as his own, and who has already shown a great deal of commitment to you by taking responsibility in a situation that he didn’t HAVE to, he chose to and that shows great love and respect….why risk things now?? It took me two kids on my own to realize that I should wait till marriage to have sex, he stood by you with someone else’s child in your womb but you know what?? I dated my sons dad while I was pregnant with my daughter, about a year and half after she was born we hooked back up and I got pregnant, he bailed in a heart beat…he was there for me when he was not obligated to be but once reality hit the fan and he was now in a spot to Stand Up and be a man he ran off with his tail between his legs, I say this not to predict that your boyfriend would do the same but to let you know that it can happen….I personally think you should wait until you have a wedding date set to get on birth control, that is what I did…I remained abstinent for two years until my wedding night, it was so much better than any of my past experiences, just think about meeting him at the altar in a white gown, sharing vows in front of your proud family and friends and then eating and dancing and celebrating…then the two of you go to your honeymoon suite, it is just the two of you and the only thing separating you is your WEDDING clothes, it will be a moment that you have never experienced with each other, you will have something new and mysterious to begin your marriage with, not just coming up with a new position for that special night, or just wearing sexy lingerie that he has not already seen, there is something so unforgettable, indescribable and that will leave you breathless about sharing your first time having sex as a married couple…Please just think about it, I know you want to have sex…not a lot of people don’t want to after they know what it is like, but you also know what it is like to have a child out of wedlock, I know what it is like times two and to get pregnant by the one who stood by me in pregnancy when he didn’t have to and then to be ditched when I got pregnant with his child…I think this boyfriend of yours is great, respectful and will eventually marry you if he has stuck by you through all of this, but please, do you, him, and your daughter a favor, save the complications and risks, just wait till your married to have sex with him, you have nothing to loose by doing that and yet so much to gain, and then in the opposite light you have so much to loose by having sex now and only a few things to gain which would be another child and possible heartache….You can do this, you are strong, prove the world wrong and give yourself the blessing of knowing what it is like to give yourself to him as his wife…Love Meg firstname.lastname@example.org
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