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July 24, 2007 at 9:55 am #18402deanslady12
Let me first say it was a relief to find this message board/webpage. I am 22 and facing the realization of having a baby. I just found out I think I should be 3 weeks now…. my boyfriend is so excited and I must say it was be awesome to have a beautiful baby the only thing is, I have an extremly faithfull religous God fearing mother, and it is just going to crush her for me to have a baby our of wedlock. I don’t know how I am going to tell her.Also, My father I know is going to be upset but not to the extent that my mom is. I have prayed for the last couple days, BUT I have no idea when or how I am going to express this to her! If anyone has been in this situation I need your advice. Thank You:sick:July 27, 2007 at 5:09 pm #18462misunderstood
Well My cousins mom is really religeous and she had a baby, but got married before she was born. Her name is Ashton. Anyway her mom was still kinda mad because she did it outta wedlock, but now everyone is fine. I think it will just be shock at first, but after the little angel gets here, everything should work out. GOODUCK AND CONGRATS!!!!July 30, 2007 at 7:35 am #18479Michael3600
Honesty……I would expect disappointment. Disappointment in knowing that her grandchild was not born in the best circumstances for you, or your child.
I would be patient and understanding with your parents. In spite of the circumstances, you chose life. Would seem like a no brainer, but we know that is not the case these days. SO I applaude you (and your boyfriend) for that. I would assume your parents also will be thankful for that.
You mentioned that you are praying. I would continue that (we all should always). Prayer should be seeking God’s will for our lives, rather than trying to impose our will on Him. God knows best. When we violate that, we go astray. That has consequences, and eternal consequences. Bad eternal consequences if we do not conform our will to His, and good if we do. God, as loving Father, loves us and as a good parent wants what is best. He desires what is best for us and the "rules’ some think are so restrictive, actually keep us free from slavery to sin, and bad choices.
So I would say continue to pray to now do what is best. We all make mistakes. Now there is a child in your womb though who is not a mistake, but a wonderful gift of God who deserves right choices, and responsible choices be made for her (him). I pray for you and your family. I would be honest with your parents. Their disappointment in the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy do not equal their lack of love for you or the child…..that is the reason for the disappointment. Prayer and time heals.
Read…… A good book called, “The Good News About Sex and Marriage.” http://www.amazon.com/Good-News-About-Sex-Marriage/dp/1569552142
IT is by author, Christopher West. It is from a catholic perspective, but regardless of what type of faith tradition (or none) is a great read for anyone.July 30, 2007 at 1:37 pm #18481ericklirios
Yes, the situation will be difficult but not in the way you actually fear it will be. If your mother is truly a God-fearing person, she will not like the idea of your having been sleeping with your boyfriend behind her back. For one, it would hurt her that 1) you did it in the first place and 2) you hid it from her. Parents like to think that they’re their kids’ best friends and their last, best confidant. It would hurt because there is this very important thing that you’ve hidden from her. What’s more is that you didn’t tell her immediately because you were scared of her. What happened to ‘You can tell me anything?", she’ll probably ask herself. My dad actually cried when I was finally able to tell him that I got someone pregnant. (I was too chicken to tell him personally so I wrote him a letter.)
What he asked me was, "Why are you bearing this alone?" He eventually wiped his tears and told me, "We’ll figure this out together."
Honey, your mom and dad will be upset but eventually, they will be because finally, this is something where their help can only be so much. They can’t spare you the pain of carrying the baby, giving birth, dealing with a life with a partner, dealing with raising a baby, etc. They will be there eventually but they will be somewhat scared for you.
What’s the best thing to do? Tell them now. Let it be awkward if needs to be but you have to do it now. Don’t wait. They would want to help you and you really need their experience and their wisdom. At this point, you have to be humble enough that though you are looking forward to your pregnancy, you do need their help.
If your mom is as God-fearing as you think she is, she will sooner or later welcome a definite gift from God and will take care of that gift to your whole family.
God bless you. Pray a lot and then pray together with your folks.
ErickAugust 3, 2007 at 1:52 pm #18537alexanders_mama
I hope that after the initial shock wears off shell be behind your 100%. thats wat happen in 99.99 precent of cases. I wish you all the luck possible.September 9, 2007 at 11:09 am #18774bweber
ok so if ur mom is really that religious she should know that God doesn’t let these things happen for no reason and that if it’s supposed to happen it will….i have been in a sort of lesser but same situation as u, my dad started being very religious right after my mother died in 2003 and then i got preg last year (’06) so telling him i was preg was hard but i made my views clear to him and he didn’t have much argumnet against me whereas he let his GIRLFRIEND move in and that’s supposedly a "sin"…so after i got it through his mind that i wan’t going to quit school he was fine…so just remind ur mom that ur old enough to have a baby and make ur own choice whether she like it or not……September 16, 2007 at 11:13 pm #18806Anonymous
If your mom is really religious she may be a little upset for that fact that your pregnant and not married. But god never gives you anything that you can’t handle, and everything does happen for a reason. And a baby is one of the greatest gifts that god can give you. but if she is upset about you not in wed-lock, i think that disappointment will go away fast, because god is giving her another thing in life that will be one of the greatest gifts for a mother of a mother, a grandchild. Which she should be extremely excited about, and you are a big girl being 22 and you can make your own choices in life, she shouldnt have any choice about that, because once you hit that 18 year old mark or so, she should be happy for any choices you make in life on your own, even if they aren’t what she had planned for her children. hopefully everything goes good!
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