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September 28, 2008 at 1:32 am #22399Anonymous
Argh, I’m going insane and I just need to hear from girls who have been through this and who are going through it…
Firstly, I’m so worried about every little thing when he grows up… like him being gay, transgender, smoking, getting tatoos, drinking, drugs, YOU NAME IT. I mean it’s not that I’m against gays or transgenders or anything… but I’m just kind of neutral. Like I don’t want to offend anyone or anything who may have a loved one or something… It’s just that, you know, he would have to go through so many issues with other people’s tolerance of him and stuff like that. But on the other hand, I am a firm believer that God made man and woman for one another, not man and man or woman and woman. So I’m not really sure my opinion on that subject… BUT ANYWAYS, I mean I guess it’s normal to worry about your children… but I just want to stop the stress and stop worrying about all the little things that could happen that probably won’t make a difference to me even if they do and after I accept them… well, except for drugs and drinking… but you know what, I’ll just stop talking now, lol.
Secondly, I don’t feel like I’ll have enough time to spend with him. I’m staying in honors math, science, and history courses. I have my schedule/classes planned out for high school and I’ve been planning that around what the colleges I plan to apply for require for a nursing degree, which also means that I have to take a few college credit courses before I even go into a nursing major- so those will take up time after school, as well. Not to mention homework, volunteer work, clubs that I do in relation to health, TAKS, SAT, ACT, THEA, and CBAP tests that I have to take within the next couple years… it seems like I’ll have no time for him! I mean… I do feel better that he’ll be with his two grandmothers all the time my boyfriend and I are gone… but it’s still going to be hard for me to leave him. I feel like I’m taking on too much to deal with along with spending time with my boy. He’s my priority, everything else is second. I want to raise him the way I want to and my boyfriend wants to, and not by other people’s standards. I mean thank God that my boyfriend and I have the same values and principles that we’d like to teach him. But we both want to go into the medical field. I, nursing, and he wants to be a general surgeon… I mean that takes up so much time… we’ll be so busy every day! I don’t want him to feel like he’s left behind or we don’t care… Well, I’ll stop rambling. My basic points: Does anyone recommend homeschooling? Online classes are extremely expensive, like $200 per course per semester, so that’s not an option. I was thinking of just being homeschooled and then taking my college credit courses at a community college and doing regular volunteer work. :-/ Any advice would be awesome.September 28, 2008 at 7:42 am #22407Meg11
Autumn, I understand the worries and stresses about all the what ifs that could come about later in life and I fully sympathize with you. However there are certain things that are out of our control and it is hard to let those things go, I agree that men are for women and women for men (no offense to anyone out there) you can raise your son to know that right is right and wrong is wrong but one day he will make his own choices and if you have done all you can by setting a good example and taking the time to nurture and teach him virtues then the rest is up to him and God, A parent can do the best job in the world and have a wild rebellious child in the end or you can have a parent who slacks off and sets a horrible example and their child turns out to be responsible and have many great values and qualities, for now it is something you need to put on the back burner, I have found and seen and heard that if you focus too much on the issues you are worried about then you can end up leading your child or driving them into those behaviors that you do not wish to see them participate in….there is a balance and I pray that God helps you and I as well to find and maintain it…as for the schooling and career questions the best advice I can give you is to pray about it, not just utter out some words and leave it there but to really pray and seek confirmation in the bible, everyone has a different set of circumstances, I was a single mom for 4 1/2 years and for a portion of that time I truly felt the Lord tell me to stay home and trust Him to provide the money for the bills and He never failed, sometimes people would shove job opportunities at me and then snub me for not taking them they would say things like “you need to provide for your family and work” I knew I needed to but I felt a strong pull that told me to live very frugal and to survive on bare minimum so that I did not miss out on my kids being so little and needy of their mommy, I would pick up odd jobs and baby sit and have yard sales and sell all that I didn’t NEED, I made it and survived and I am so glad that I was home with my kids trusting God, now you may be called to further your career, you have been blessed with TWO grandmas, I do not have one around for my kids, that could be very special time for your son to spend with grandma, it could be a good opportunity for them to help you and be blessed for it, having a career under your belt may be the best thing for you and it will be worth the time and sacrifice, just be sure that you do not sacrifice your son, if you find that you do not spend enough time with him then you may want to cut back some classes and go through college slower, homeschooling may be a great option to finish high school, that would allow you to be there for him more during the younger stages where they are more needy of mommy, I have a friend who is going to college for nursing, her daughter is 5 months old and she worked it out with the college to let her take certain classes first that she can do all online and then she can take the hands on classes in her second semester so that she can continue to breastfeed and be close with her daughter, you just need to look into all of your options and do what is best for you and your son…so I hope this helps a bit but one thing you need to do for sure is to stop the stress as much as you can, kids pick up on it big time and you want to enjoy this time while he is still young and impressionable without a rain cloud over your head…hang in there and pray over your son, pray that you would have the wisdom to make good choices and to set the examples needed to help him live a virtuous life…Love MegSeptember 28, 2008 at 5:50 pm #22412jessey223
Well worrying about your child is VERY NORMAL and be honest that will never stop. You worry about them before they are born, will they have 10 fingers and 10 toes? and then when they walk will they fall? When they go to school will they get lost? Will they make friends ? etc etc. But no matter what you worry. No matter how your son ends up you will love him no less. You will think he is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. So try not to worry because there is nothing that would make you love him less.
About feeling like you won’t have time with him, to be honest you wont have enough time. But most moms don’t have enough time. You do have a lot on your plate but even if you were a mom working full time it would be exactly the same. I fall into this rut all of the time I feel bad that I don’t have enough time to spend with my daughter. But truth of the matter is everything we do is for our kids. You go to school to create a future for both you and your family. My advice would be to stay in school and strive to be the best. Everything else will fall into place. Be thankful your baby will not be in daycare and will be with family. Best of Luck. Jessica
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