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October 17, 2009 at 10:02 am #25882megan_mae52
Ok , first an update now 23 weeks along. Deciced baby which is a boy will be staying with me not adoption. the daddy my “special friend” (what a joke) says he wants to be there and help pick out names and be there when baby is born. He says he just does not want a relationship and we should parent like a divorced couple… WTF I don’t know what that is. LOL We never even got to know each other even though we were friends for years before sleeping together nine months ago. He says I need to find someone else to help me the first few weeks and he will visit when he can and eventually wants baby every other weekend or when he has time. But he doesnt think that we need to know about each others lifes becasue it has nothing to do with baby. Did I mention we are still getting together on a weekly basis.Then I ask him to help set up crib and he ignores that message but sends one asking if we could hook up. What is he thinking… So I pretty much told him that i care for him and he hasn’t given me a chance and we can’t parent like divorced couples because we never dated. I told him I think we get along great and we should try and make a run at it together instead of him avoiding any feelings becasue it will change his lifestyle. I think our son deserves to know that we tried to be together and if we don’t make it that we gave it our all not daddy didn’t want to lose bachelor status. lol So I said either fifty fify or one hundred percent just let me do it alone. Well that was a few days ago and I have not heard a peep from him. Did i make a mistake with what I said to him? Any suggestions or insight. I have never had to share my other two so have not a clue what I am doing! I am 25 and he is 43 his first baby that he knows of?!?October 17, 2009 at 9:40 pm #25883Meg11
First off, I love your user name, my name for 24 years was Meagan Maye!!…LOL Now I am married but people still use my maiden name all the time….hehehehe, so anyways if this guy is 43 and has the maturity of a 12 year old boy I would not let him have the baby alone at all until he has been through some parenting classes, he can get free classes at a local Pregnancy Resource Center and even earn, “baby bucks” for baby needs like diapers…win win situation there, 1-800-395-HELP, this is a number to call to find a local center near you…If I were you I would stop “hooking up” all together, you have obviously given him your heart and he is tugging on it and that is wrong, right now you cannot get pregnant because you are pregnant but once baby is born if you keep hooking up with him you could get pregnant again and then things could get really messy, I think you are going to be a great mommy….I would consider not putting him on the birth certificate and working out a private child support agreement so that if he were to run with baby he would not have the legal right (him not being on the certificate) and if he is immature enough to not have a clue on how to raise a child (even parents who hate each other know that you have to work together for the benefit of the child, consistency etc) then he may not catch that little detail and with him being 43 he should be stable enough to out of pocket help you with child support….I have 3 kids with 3 dads, 2 of them were out of wedlock, at any time they could show up and take my kids and disappear and legally I could do nothing because they are on the birth certificate, we were never married therefore we were never divorced and have nothing in writing….it might be a good idea to go in together to a Pregnancy Resource Center for counseling to get advice on how you two should work this out but for sure make him prove that he will be a good parent before you give him alone time…also guard your heart, remember to put you and baby before your feelings for him, sounds like he is not the kind of guy who is in to solid commitment and you deserve better….Love MegOctober 19, 2009 at 12:12 am #25895maurice_wifey
that sound like a bunch of BS u cant leave the child when ever you feel like it and pick him up when u ready to take care of him…so he shouldnt be able to either.. he needs to man up.. and help build that crib lol… 43 dame dont he think its time to find some one to make a home and fam with..
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