So Scared!

This topic contains 28 replies, has 17 voices, and was last updated by holy_foxtrot Anna C .

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  • #12802
    Mollyocon
    Molly O'Connell

    Hey, I just found out I am 3 weeks pregnet. I havent even missed my period yet, but I had to go to the ER for another reason and thus found out. I just feel so alone, the baby daddy is trying to be there, but he makes it clear that he wants as abortion, he also seems to keep forgetting that i am pregnet! He has offered me a drink twice in the last week! I dont know what to do! If I do get an abortion then I have to waite another whole month!! How I am spouse to keep this all in for another month! I havent told my parents, and I dont know if I should becuase they will want me to keep it. Though the thought has crossed my mind on keeping my baby, I dont know how I would do it!! Anyone out there, I need words of encouragment, or how people were able to make their deccions. I feel like I am angry I am angry with everyone, and I dont want to leave me house..is this normal?
    PLEASE HELP!!
    molly

    #12821
    mommytoele
    Nicole Kirby

    Hello there! I can understand why you’re scared. Are you close with your mom? I think you should tell her, or someone who you’re close with. Someone who can help you through this. I think you should look into your options, and be sure that an Abortion is what YOU want. How old are you? I think if anything, you should give the child up for Adoption. Don’t kill a living being.
    If anything… I can help you with… Let me know.

    Nicki

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/06 15:49

    #12836

    Anonymous

    I found out that I was pregnant a couple days ago too and all that I can say is don’t let ANYONE tell you what to do wih your body. You are the one that is carrying this miracle. And I can speak from experience because my god-daughter’s father isn’t in her life at all. But she is WEL taken care of. We don’t need him. My best friend has a great support system that she didn’ think that she had until she told her parents and everyone else. The father asked her if she was going to have an abortion, but she said no. Both of them laid down and she didn’t ask to be born, but she is here now and is one of the best things that has happened to me. Witnessing the birth and just being in her life. But like I said, don’t allow anyone to put ideas in your head about the baby, It is a living being, and its heart is beating….already. So tell him that he will be killing a life. But if you need to talk I am here and you can email me or whatever. But i am here.

    #12840
    haley
    Haley

    hey girly…yeah its normal feeling like that…at first i was debating whether or not i should keep my baby but i look at my nephew and my sister (my sister had my nephew when she was 17 and now he’s one) and i dont know what was going thro my head when i thought of abortion…i look at my nephew and yeah he wasnt supposed to happen so early but my sister stepped up and kept him and i look at him and hes a miracle hes the most joy you could ever ask for so i made my decision…yes it may be hard well actually i know it willbe hard but im keeping..girl look on the other bulletins and there is one called "Abortion:The hard truth" http://www.truthnet.org/abortion/ you watch that and then you make up your mind…girl think it thro before you make any decisions and watch that video…and whatever your boyfriend says its not really his decision…its yours no one elses… well let me know how it all goes!!! God Bless

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/15 16:19

    #12859

    Anonymous

    hey darling. PLEASE do not have a abortion. it will be the WORST mistake of your life. ive had one and i regret it EVER SINGLE DAY of my life and i will regret it forever. im still with the guy it happened with so that makes it better sometimes. but PLEASE DONT it is not worth it. if you have any questions about it ask me i will help you. HAVE the baby, you will get the best gift and blessing of all- a life! that came from you. you do NOT want to be going around everyday feeling like some part of you is gone. you can never replace that empty feeling. so please- think of the life inside you. do not have an abortion.

    #12870

    Anonymous

    Dear Molly, I am writing from Namibia, Africa. My husband and I have struggled for years to have a baby. I cannot explain to anyone the emotional pain one has to endure as a "barren " woman. I am 4 months pregnant now, and everyday more thankful then the day before. Do you know: 1)a woman can only concieve between 12 and 24 hours a month? and then the circumstances (temp, ext) has to be perfect. The mere fact that you concieved is a miracle alone. 2) At two weeks your baby already has a primitive heart, kidneys, and all other organs. It is life, right from the beginning. Scientists say that up to 3 months, it is only still a fetus and not a baby, but I ask you to read more, do some research on the internet. You would be amazed at the life you are carrying, and how that baby reacts in your woumb. Sucking fingers, kicking, turning, at only a few weeks. Don’t let anyone convince you that He/She is not a human. A babygirl for instance has all the eggscells she will ever have throughout her life, right from the beginning already. What a privilige you have to be chosen as a mother, while millions out there wish every second of their lives to have that. Please think carefull, about this. Abortion is your choice, but it might be one that you may regret forever, and no man would ever understand the emtiness in a womans heart, even if they say they do, or even if they truly love you. You are desined physically, emotionally, and mentally different from a man. Do not let fear cripple what might be the greatest blessing in your life.

    #12875

    Anonymous

    I’m so sorry you are having to face this. You didn’t mention how old you were. Please don’t let your boyfriend pressure you into sometihng tyou are not comfortable with. The odds are he will not be the man you sgrow old with -he be off somewhere else and you will have the guilt & regret for the rest of your life – especially when you are older IF you realize you aborted to please HIM and he’s nowhere in sight.

    Since you say your parents would wantyou to keep it it sounds as if they would be supportive. Please please please consider the other ortion. There is anoter one – open adoptino. YOU and your parents (if you were to consider this optin) can choose the family and you can have an open reltaionship.

    I hever in a million years thought that I wouldn’t be able to ahve children – I come from a fertile lot – but I’ve had unexplained infertility followed by a 2 year period where I had 6 miscarriages and then no more pregnancies.

    I was BORN to be a mother – Iand I have always, in my heart been a mother I just didn’t have a bay!

    Thank GOD for our son’s birthparents who loved him and wanted him to LIVE but knew that we could give him a beautiful life and future – and I am finally the mom I was meant to be and I love my son more than anything on earht. My husband and I are amazed and blessed to have this beautiful little person in our lives.

    Please consider the oprtins – but whatever you do – please let it be YOUR decision.

    Please repond if you need an adult "talk" to. In the end you’ll be okay!!

    #12876

    Anonymous

    Wow – my typing was bad on that last post!!! Just want to say that yes – I do know how to spell LOL!!!!

    #12895

    Anonymous

    Hi Molly, When i first found this site i was goin through some tough times. Well what i tell you i hope can help. Last year i got pregnant and although i was young and not ready to be a mother i was not the type of person to have an abortion…then i sat a thought long and hard on if having an abortion was right. I went to the people who meant the most to me in my life and had the most important impact on my life and gather their opinons tohelp me with my choice. I came to the conslusion that i didn’t want to be a mom but i will have to deal with the consequence of my actions. I stayed away from people who could get me in any kind of trouble and I went on with my life then I had a miscarriage. I kno you probably think that i was relieved, not at all i was devastated Even though at first i didn’t want it, when it was gone i wanted it more than I could ever want anything…The sayin is true you never kno what you have until it is gone…. and what i had a sacred and special something apart of me…. i didn’t realize that something so precious could have an imapct on peeple like it did on me. True enough I made a bad choice to have sex it was a blessing and a lesson at the same time and if god would give you something as precious as a baby you should cherish it. I think you ask the people who mean the most to you what they think. And i think you should tell your parents after you figure out what you want and you are ready to go through with your descion that you made on your own terms.

    You can email me at anytime with anything you want to kno or talk about.

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/08 15:56

    #12908
    Mollyocon
    Molly O'Connell

    I can not thank you all for responding! This web-site is the one thing that keeps me from going crazy. I want to have this baby! I am really scared though, I have people in my life telling that I would not be able too. I am 21 years old and trying to become a teacher, I have 2 semesters of school left and then student teaching. I have a part time job, and some money saved up, but how do I do this? How did others do school and a baby? any hints on where to even start would be great! But this is my baby, and I cant have an abortion, and after reading some of the stories on here it makes me see how very possible all this is! I am still scared out of my mind, but I have hope, and love! and thanks to everyone out there more support then I could imagne. I did tell my parents, and they were great, they said they would support me, no matter what a choose to do. But before I go to them again, I want to have my plan of action, thus, I need some help! Are there schollarships? or how do people pay for rent? How much time will I need to plan to take off of school? How much time will I have to take off of work?
    Thank you all again, and the life inside me thanks you too!!
    Molly

    #12955
    kez_mummy_2_skye
    Kerry Atkinson

    i agree with Nicki
    Dont let anyone tell you what to do, if you do choose to abort then it could live with you forever and u may regret it so think it through.

    #12987
    jazzy_jme
    Jamie Adams

    i have also had an abortion last year then a miscarriage earlier this year now i’m pregnant and keeping my baby, i truely believe that this one is a miracle…my boyfriend wanted an abortion the first time, so i gave in. now i’m not letting anyone tell me. I have very supporting friends and my boyfriend as come around to the idea of being a daddy. I know you’re confused, hurt, and angry right now it’s normal – but please consider all the options you do have and the consquences of each option…take care and listen to your heart…

    #13006
    lissy012207
    Alyssa Mainhart

    I was in a car accident and I cant lift my left arm. I can only move my fingers and wrist. I was at the hospital, ready to undergo my first surgery and they made me pee in a cup and then told me i was pregnant. They said that if i kept the baby then the surgery probably wont work after waiting till the babys born. I just turned 17 on october 27th. My fiance/ the babys dad is 22 so he cant even sign the birth certificate till im 18. My whold family disowned me. But guess what? I kept the baby and I dont regret it. If i can do it, then you can too. Its your decision and im not trying to tell you what to do. NO ONE can tell you what to do. I just dont believe in abortion in general let alone as a means of birth control. This girl on here posted a video on birth control called "the hard truth" I’m going to copy the link to you. Just click on the "Abortion: the hard thruth" video and watch it. i cried I couldnt make it through the whole thing. I’m now 30 weeks pregnant and I dont regret anything. I still cant lift my left arm. I’m going to get the 2 surgeries on it after the babys born but they probably wont work. I still dont regret my choice. Good Luck and if you need anything. let me know. I know that if i can do it, then anyone can 🙂

    #13035

    Anonymous

    wow beautifuly said i agree so much with u dont kill life its a blessing from god instead give that baby life and let a family who cant have children have a miricle but god bless u

    #13073
    kristen2006_il
    Kristen Hankins

    I have been in your shoes and I chose abortion and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I regret it daily because it wasn’t my choice so make sure this is what you want because once you do it there is no turning back and you will be stuck with your decision for the rest of your life.

    I am adopted and I know how many people out there want a baby so if nothing else give your child a "second chance" it might be the most adult thing you can do.

    One other option is to keep the baby I am a mother of one and have one on the way and motherhood is the best and hardest job there ever was. So don’t go into it lightly because it is a life long commitment

    If you have any questions feel free to contact me

    Kris

    #13085
    emilianyz
    ann estrada

    hi !My opinion: dnt do anything so fast without thinking well things first ,remember you are only 3 weeks and is normal that u feel so confused.I dont know how old are u but u need to talk to somebody else very close to you , if you are not ready to tell your family just try to count with a close friend but remember that your mother needs to know that too.You are not alone , even I felt like that at the beginnig of my pregnancy but i noticed about all that people that are supporting me.If you dont let it out it can be worse so take things easy and ull see what a Great Gift God gave u!Good luck!

    #13138
    BeenThere
    Judith Muehlbauer

    Those confused feelings you are having right now are normal and temporary. It’s crazy, but the worst time to decide to have an abortion is the time that most people make the decision.

    If you choose to give birth, you will find the strength to meet all the challenges ahead of you. I know, because I did–twice. The first time I was pregnant and single was when I was 17. I ended up placing that child with a family and I went on to college and graduated with highest honors. The second time I found myself pregnant and single was after I had separated from my husband. I already was facing raising one child alone and suddenly I was going to be raising two!

    Yes, it was hard. But I trusted in God and He came through. My daughter is now 16 years old and going to college. She has the voice of an angel and is already a published writer. This beautiful, talented, young woman is what I would have aborted if I hadn’t carried her to term. I know a lot of women who have had abortions will tell you how great their lives are because they had an abortion, but don’t believe them. You know the old expression, "misery loves company?" Well, it’s true. Most of these women are miserable and they want you to join their tragic sisterhood. Don’t do it. You deserve better.

    #13241

    Anonymous

    Re: So scared
    I just thought I would throw in a couple of opinions. I am just turning 22 and I am on my 2nd pregnancy. I had my first one at 20 yr old, and an abortion was the last thing on my mind. Could you image all the guilt you would have to live with? Everytime you watch tv and there are babies, or walking down the street or in a store and there are little tiny babies everywhere. All of that would remind you of what you had done. I couldn’t imagine not having my little boy. If I ever even think about someone hurting my son, I would be nuts, let alone me doing it.

    Yeah it’s hard and especially if the father doesn’t want to help, but you know what I live two blocks from my son’s sperm donor and he has never even seen my son, and he is 1 1/2 yrs old. That’s pathetic, but you know what, one day everything will change for you and if the baby’s father doesn’t want to be a part of it, so what, he will pay for it in the long run. (i’m not saying he doesn’t want to be a part) You could make him pay for it, for not ever helping you and the baby out,

    Also you will find a good guy one day will want to be there for you and be a REAL dad. I have been through it, believe me. It hurts and it sucks but, it will all work itself out. Don’t make a decision based upon what he wants, he might be there later on after you make that desicion. And to end this: Think about it this way, You both made that precious thing… In the end it’s never a mistake.. Give it a chance!!! I hope you take my advise. I was very scared as well, and was on the verge of suicide.
    Email me if you want to talk, I will help ya. By the way I am 20 weeks pregnant right now.

    Tina

    Post edited by: acas, at: 2006/11/21 13:01

    #13260

    Anonymous

    I am glad you are keeping it. When I was on my own and pregnant my parents were the best thing that could’ve happened to me. They were great. Even if you have to stay with them so they can help you for a little while, that’s ok too. As far as the time you need, usually it will take you about 6 weeks to fully recover, and it may take you longer to leave your little one with a sitter. Been there done that. I hated leaving mine with someone. But yes there are all kinds of scholarships that can help you, there is free money everywhere you just have to search. And for a place to stay, like I said if you need your parents let them help. Also there are a lot of financial things that can help you get a place of your own. Try your welfare unit, i know it sounds crazy but they help anyone. It doesn’t make you look stupid it there for people who really need help. Also you can try apartment complexes that go by your income.

    tina

    #13301
    ash_larrell
    Ashleigh Beecher

    Hey Girl,

    Everything will be okay. If you do decide to keep the baby….you will do fine. I know it is scary. I am 22 and going through my pregnancy right now. Things all fell into place. I was abandoned by my family and the father of the child, but they eventually came around. I know it is scary but there is so much help and support out there fo you. Luckily I have quite a few friends and co workers that are moms/ single moms and they had alot of good advice for me. If you need to talk I am more than willing :cheer: No matter what you decide to do you will have support. But please dont let everybody else around you make the decision for you. I got pregnant at 15 and was forced by my parents to have an abortion. I really regret it and then later on in life was informed I might not be able to have children and I felt horrible. Now I sit here 35 weeks pregnant with my son and I am so excited and happy about it.

    #13384

    Anonymous

    hey i read your advice for the girl who doesnt know whether to have an abortion or not. you said you had one last year because your boyfriend wanted it. well im considering having one but i really dont no what to do. how did you feel after it? was it painful or did you get depressed afterwards?

    #13400
    angel_gal84
    lisa donnelly

    Niamh wrote:

    hey i read your advice for the girl who doesnt know whether to have an abortion or not. you said you had one last year because your boyfriend wanted it. well im considering having one but i really dont no what to do. how did you feel after it? was it painful or did you get depressed afterwards?

    NIAMH,

    please dont have an abortion, i myself had one and you feel terrible afterwards you dont feel anything they put u to sleep (well in australia its law that they have to put u to sleep) after i had my abortion i was depresseed and it was so hard to get up in the mornings and go to work and do normal things.

    Before you decide to have the abortion look into it first and decide if its right for you, i didnt look into it and wish i did. If you dont want to have the abortion or keep it, put it up for adoption you can have an open adoption where u still can have an relationship with your chikd. or you can have a closed one its up to you but please dont go through having an abortion.

    please if you need to talk email me

    lisaxxxx

    #13504

    Anonymous

    Is it normal? You bet. Unplanned pregnancies can bring out CRAZY emotions, just look at all the posts on this site!
    The thing to remember is that abortion will NOT make your emotions go away. If anything, it will only make them stronger and worse. As far as your other options go, it doesn’t sound like your bf is ready to be a dad, and going it alone isn’t easy, but there are lots of resources out there to help you. You might also consider an open adoption- you get to pick the baby’s adoptive parents and can even arrange for visitation so you don’t have to lose the bond you’ve formed with your baby.
    I’m actually starting a group to help college women research adoption (I’m a student in Miami, Fl), so I have a TON of info if anybody wants it. Let me know if there’s anything I can do!

    Post edited by: lisa, at: 2006/11/29 16:22

    #13790
    Hermia2012
    Debra Miller

    girly how are you. did you know that you refered to it as YOUR baby. remember that. cause i think you know that you want to keep it.and if the dad is not being understanding and you really love him then you need to sit down and talk to him about it. and remember he is in shock too… which is why he is offering you drinks and acting like you are not pregnant. guys dont deal with this that often. sometimes they think if they act like it is not there then it will go away and just so you know even if you get an abortion it wont just go away. it will always be apart of you.and abortions are not fun. they are emotionally draining. and it is something that i think you will regret. so keep this in mind and keep me posted on what is happening. and tell your mom. you have a world behind you.. lets us stay there.

    #14172
    darkie
    Alicia Morris

    Hi Molly you have a chance to have a baby please take it having an abortion is a very serious thing I can tell you from what I went through and I would never advise anyone to have one god takes us through all of our difficult times and he will take you through yours so don’t worry but please take the chance that you have to have your baby and why I am telling you this is becasue I have been trying for four years after having two miscarriages and haven’t been able to get pregnant since and it kills me every month to see my periods come because I want to have a baby of my own to love and care for, I have decided that I am not trying anymore becasue I can’t take the pain I also told my self that kids aern’t a part of mylife but you got that chance so please take it and god bless.

    Take care

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