- This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated by .
February 2, 2009 at 9:05 am #23965luckylove
Hi. I’m so upset and confused right now. I’m pregnant, unexpectedly. I’m not a teenager, I’m 25. But, I already have a 6 year old, and I am a single mother. I don’t know how I can do it again. My daughter is always being dragged around and doesn’t have a fair life for a little kid. The job I work has odd hours ( I work in long term care) and she has to stay in daycare until 11 at night. This is a challenge, and i feel terrible that this is how her life is. I don’t want to do this with another child.
A year ago, I had an abortion. I had been in a relationship for 4 years, and he left me when we got pregnant. I chose to have an abortion because i didn’t think I could do it again alone and with 2 children. I didn’t think it would be fair to either child. It was so hard and a day doesn’t pass that I don’t think about it.
Now, here I am pregnant again. I met my present boyfriend very shortly after my last relationship eneded, and it was as if everything happened for a reason. This man is what one could only describe as my “soulmate” even though i’ve always been skeptical of that term. But really, I don’t think I could find a better person for me if I searched for the rest of my life. He loves not only me, but also my daughter. His whole family accepts us as well.
When I told him that I was pregnant, he hugged me and told me that it was going to be OK. He told me he would love me and be there for me no matter what I decided. I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said that he doesn’t feel like he is ready to have a child, and that he thinks it would be the smartest decision to abort it. He said he thinks it would be better to decide if we truely want to be together forever without it being based on the fact that we have a child together. He said we can have kids later. He wants to be married first.
He also made valid points that we don’t have th income for it, he is 23 and only has a part time low income job and still lives with his parents. He recently finished university with a marketing degree, but jobs right now are scarce as we all know. He also said that he’s worried that us having a child could complicate our relationship.
That is my main fear, I love him so much and don’t want to ruin our relationship. He is amazing to me and my daughter. I don’t want to drag him into something he is not ready for. I don’t want him to ever resent me. So I told him i was going to have an abortion. But I don’t think that’s really what I want.
I don’t know what to do. I’m so sad.
sorry this is so long.February 2, 2009 at 7:51 pm #23968BellynMe
Hey Luckylove, i feel where ur coming from completely. i’m 24. a mom of 2 gorgeous little boys and possibley pregnant by the 22 yr. old love of my life. Life can set things up in the oddest of ways. dont blame yourself 4 ur feelings just make sure u r being as honest as possible with ur partner. he sounds like a good guy and one who is probably more than willing 2 hear u out. try not to leave him in the dark. whatever decision u come to let him be there to support u in making it. From beginning to end. Good Luck! hope everything works out 4 the best;)February 3, 2009 at 8:03 am #23974emeraldforestmyheartbro
How long have you been dating this guy for? He sounds very supportive, but it is easy for him to tell you to abort as men don’t know the connection a mother shares with her unborn child.
In my opinion, a baby is a blessing from God, and the Lord never gives us more then we can handle. You probably still live with the pain of your first abortion, imagine that a second time around? I support you in whatever you choose but abortion will haunt you for the rest of your life, many girls on the site who have had abortions still mourn everyday for their lost child.
Have you considered adoption? There are tons of loving couples out these who cannot conceive who would love to adopt your beautiful baby.
best of luck, sign my guestbook if u want to talk
-Enya <3February 3, 2009 at 10:06 pm #24002Anonymous
Look hun, I know that this is a really really hard thing. I know that you don’t want to lose your bf and you don’t think that it would be fair to your daughter or your baby to keep the baby. But you know what? LIFE IS WORTH LIVING!!! Do you really honestly want to have another abortion? Look if your bf won’t stick with you when you have a baby, he’s really not worth your time, and he is especially not worth killing for.
If he really loves you you should get married. If not, you should stop having sex and wait until you really are sure that he is the ‘one’. But don’t kill your baby because of a mistake that you made. Adoption is always an option, ya know.
Your baby deserves to have a chance at life. Just because you had an abortion last time doesn’t mean that you should have another one or that it was the right decision.
At the very least do some research on abortions. Don’t let yourself have the regret of not knowing what it was you were deciding.
I know that this is a really tough thing, and my heart aches for you. I hope that everything works out for you!
Hugs!February 7, 2009 at 3:41 am #24038tracymom
luckylove, I hear your situation, I do. Let me tell you a story. My parents didn’t use contraception, and they ended up having 13 children. 2 died, one at four by spider bite and the other still born. We’re eleven brother’s and sisters. My father died when I was two. My mother bacame a persioner at the age of 43. She had a 2, 4,8,10,13,15,17,18,20,21,22year old. My brother had just turned 21. I was the youngest. Yes, we struggled, but we are all successful today. I am 23, studying chemistry, married with a little one of 6 months. HAVE YOUR LITTLE BABY. DON”T GRIEVE ANOTHER ONE! abortion is another funeral for you. Your child will survive the circumstances. We all did. My mother didn’t wish that half of us (or more) was dead. Abortion is not best for you. It is you who feels the life in you and you who will feel the loss and emptiness. Your boyfriend doesn’t understand. I think that if you could explain the kind of life your baby will have growing up to your baby, I think he will still say, “Mommy please keep me.” Please love this one enough. Have the faith to go on. Let God carry you. PRAY. It’s a little baby, with little fingers and little toes. Let him live so you can hear him giggle, see him smile. He wants to meet you, lie on your chest. Abortion is a horrific death for your unborn promise. I’ve seen an ultrasound video of a baby being aborted. you can google it. The baby’s heartbeat reaches over 200 beats per minute, and tries to swim away from the instruments of the abortionist. The baby’s mouth is open (screaming). Okay, your daughter is not having the greatest life in the world (compared to many it is quite fine), but imagine her being ripped apart at your command – to save her apparently – is that better? Your daughter has life, breath, and she has her mommy. Ask her if she wishes you rather aborted her. Your baby is safe now inside your womb, but you want your womb to become the grave place for him/her. The hellhole of existence. Yeah you can always have children, but you’ll never have this one! No one can stop you from keeping your baby! When your boyfriend first sees your child, he will never wish he killed him/her! My brother wanted his girlfriend to abort their child. She made the appointment, but just didn’t go. She just went ahead merrily and had the child. Now I can’t believe they wanted to kill my 3 year old nephew. He thinks his a rock star and he loves Barney! He says he is “sree yes owd”! Have mercy on your child, let your grace abound. Forgive your child for being conceived. Take it one day at a time, you may be dead tomorrow. If I was in your situation, I’d keep my child! Let there not be 2 or more abortions to your name. Where is the baby you aborted now? He is with the Lord, wondering when he will meet you. How old would he have been?February 13, 2009 at 12:56 pm #24131tracymom
If he is going to marry you anyway, then what is the difference between keeping your child now and having him/her after the marriage? Is it a boy or a girl? How big is the baby? How fast is the heartbeat? Don’t pretend it’s not a life or a human being. First find out the answers to these questions before you decide. You don’t really want to kill your baby do you?
You had a tough time raising your daughter alone. Do you wish you rather aborted her?February 24, 2009 at 5:49 pm #24241Anonymous
How are you doing? Have you decided what you are going to do?February 27, 2009 at 6:01 am #24273myangelsinheaven
Everyone posted wonderful advice to you. I hope you’ve really heard what they’ve tried to tell you.
I will however add, that the life inside you was given to you by the grace and blessing of God. Life is not for us to take freely, for any reason!!! There is no justification…..there will only be pain and despair at the loss of that unseen face, unheard voice, skin that would never be caressed and the loss of a smile that the world will never see.
You believe this man to be your ‘soulmate’ so try and understand that he is a blessing as well that God sent to you. He brought the two of you together for a reason…..if you believe him to be your soulmate, you can be sure that God did not intend to have you kill the child that he created out of your love for oneanother. That would be a slap in God’s face. He is giving you a chance at happiness and asking you to walk the path of FAITH and trust. Trust that this man will love you for loving his child. It may take until he sees the baby’s face in ultrasound, or feel it’s first movements in your womb…..have Faith that God will bring this ‘soulmate’ of yours one step further for you and your baby.
If you accept LIFE, and carry this beautiful baby, He will bless you with more rewards for your obedience.
God constantly gives us opportunities to turn our lives around and make a better one full of healthy choices and one that shows LOVE for oneanother. This includes the unborn!!
Your choice can make a difference for other young women. We have to make a stand sometime concerning abortion.
There doesn’t have to be LEGAL HOMOCIDE in the United States, but it is available because we ask for it.
If you have any faith in the Lord, I ask you to talk to Him now, and ask Him for the strength to stand up for your baby….and say no to killing a child.
Your ‘soulmate’ may feel this is the only answer, but he may just need to hear you tell him how wrong it is. He may say, “You know, you’re right…we can do this, we can have this baby, and still get married. There’s no way this world is going to pressure us into letting go of this child.” You can be the one to change the views of your soulmate, the views of those immediately around you, for the future pregnant women…for the future babies who may be mothers one day.
We are called to minister to one another. It is our duty…and so I am ministering to you friend in your time of need. I hope to raise you up when you are low and carry you when you are weak. Through prayer and council I hope to do for you what no one did for me.
You and your baby will be in my prayers,
myangelsinheavenMarch 15, 2009 at 3:50 am #24457kez_mummy_2_skye
there is plenty of others out there that can do it so why cant you.
- The forum ‘I Think I’m Pregnant…Now What?’ is closed to new topics and replies.