Should I have? Please help!!!!

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by Twiggy3 Sarah de Waal .

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  • #26043
    Twiggy3
    Sarah de Waal

    Okay, so Halloween night I slept with one of my friends, at my best friends party. I was at home the next day when the guy texted me and said that one of the condoms was broken and he didn’t know if it happened during sex or when he took it off. We got scared, and were talking about our options, he told me that he would buy me the morning after pill and do whatever was needed to do andthat he was sorry. Well I got my period that day, and I was wondering if there was a chance I could still be pregnant, and if I should have taken the pill.
    I am afraid to take the pill, because I am, worried about the long term effects, I was just wondering because my period came 10 hours or so after i had sex. Please help, even though I know that it is too late to take the pill now.
    I have a extremely irregular period, and this period feels different than all the others, like its more extreme or something, know what I mean

    #26047
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    Hey there, first of all, DO NOT TAKE THE PILL, now or ever, it is not safe and it is not worth the risks…most likely if you started your period the next day then you are fine…what I would do in your shoes is wait until your period is done, then wait for your next period, if you are late then take a test and even if you are not late and want to take a test just to be sure at least wait 4 weeks to take a test, otherwise it wont be accurate….when you do test do it first thing in the morning, that is when it is most accurate…also in the meantime go ahead and refrain from having sex at least until you know for sure that you are not pregnant, that way if you are not then you can avoid becoming pregnant in the waiting time….it seems like this guy cares about you enough to communicate and be honest with you….one thing I would encourage you in though is to call this number, 1-800-395-HELP, they can further educate you on the morning after pill and all that it entails….you can then share this with your guy friend and you two can talk about what you can do in the future to prevent something like this from happening….preferably wait to have sex again until you are in a loving, committed, stable and permanent relationship, preferably marriage…it is not safe to “hook up” you risk not only pregnancy but disease and also broken hearts!! I hope this helps a bit, we are all here for you and I hope that everything works out for the best…Love Meg

    #26048
    Twiggy3
    Sarah de Waal

    Thanks, the problem is my periods are never on time and are irregular. I don’t have sex alot, only a handful of times in the past year, it has been months actually.
    I always suspected the pill to be dangerous thats why I didn’t want to take it. I thought I could take a test after 2 weeks.

    #26050
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    Well yeah you can take a test after two weeks but with a regular period, about 4 weeks would bring you to being late or not…the number I left above can give you the number and location to the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL test…please do that and then come back and let us know what you find out…so are you thinking of continuing a relationship with this guy? Do you think he would be open to keep your relationship pure?…Love Meg

    #26053
    Twiggy3
    Sarah de Waal

    really? thanks for the info….yeah I know where one of those testing places are.
    As for the guy, I am not sure, I have known him quite a while and always saw him as just another guy, like just another jerk, ya know?
    But after this, I saw like a side of him, that he was a sweet caring guy. I found out he is also against abortion as am I, just the way he handled showed me that he isn’t the im just gunna have sex with her, get her pregnant, and leave.
    I am really confused about my feeings for him at the moment actually. I think after this scare/drama that I should give him time to breathe, cuz this was a big event and I dont wanna scare him or anything.
    and do you mean pure, as in like not having sex?

    #26054
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    I agree, with my past experience with guys I have never been with someone who would call me and let me know that there is a risk that I could be pregnant, he could have never told you and then let you freak out on your own, or just leave you to wonder…as for the purity, yeah I mean not having sex…let me share why…I lost my virginity at 13 and continued to have sex for years with lots of guys, by the time I was 22 I was pregnant with my second child from a second dad…I was done messing around, I wanted someone to love me for me, prove that they would stand by my side and expect nothing in return other than my love and friendship…I found that in my husband….we did not have sex until our wedding night, I didn’t think that it was really possible, especially in the world today where everything out there seems to be about sex…I thought only perfect church girls were the ones who waited to have sex and then they would be settling for boring passionless sex…so not true…waiting till my wedding night made things MORE passionate, more fun, anything but boring and I knew he would be there the next day, he loved me enough to sign the dotted line and commit to me for life before he “got the goods”…LOL…it didn’t matter to him what I looked like under my dress, I could have had burns, scars, 3 nipples, blotchy skin, tons of body hair, one breast, you name it, (I have a very creative imagination..LOL) none of it mattered to him, he cared more about the inside, my heart, my mind, the rest was a bonus…it was so worth it, I know both roads, I know promiscuous sex, I know the live in boyfriend situation, I know random one night stand sex and now I know the committed, patient wait till your wedding night sex and I vote for the waiting for marriage sex, the fear of pregnancy is not as strong, the self conscious issues are minimal, the trust is HUGE and STRONG, the jealousy issues are about non existent, he waited for me till my wedding night why would he wander, there are just so many pros and hardly a con in sight where as sex before marriage, especially random promiscuous sex has way more cons than pros….anyways my life is an open book and I am here to answer any questions you have and I think you are wise to hold off a little bit, let him come to you, if he cares about you he will, then talk with him and see if he wants to start on a clean slate with you and wait to have sex….Love Meg

    #26056
    Twiggy3
    Sarah de Waal

    Wow, I am glad you came out ok and found someone to really care for you. I am not sure about the sex thing, I am just a, i’ll sit back and see what happens. I am 20 and just living for one day, I learned for a long time not to worry yourself with the future it is uncertain. in Feb I am coing up on my fifth year of sobriety so i really only live for one day, but I think you’re right about letting him come to me. I haven’t even physically seen him since we slept together, but I know I will see him at my friends house. I think that when we see each other again I will know if our relationship will be furthered.

    #26060
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    That is awesome, I am also in my 5th year of being clean and sober, I used to use all kinds of drugs and yeah, you have to do things one day at a time…you can never fully know the future but there are certain things that you can set in place to help prevent certain things in your future….I mean you can live your life perfectly and make all kinds of plans then get in an horrid accident or be attacked and permanently injured and such, you cannot know or prevent something like that but you can protect yourself from self inflicted set backs such as premarital sex, that can prevent you from disease and pregnancy…now being raped is another subject but like I said that is not a self inflicted set back that will change your plans…I know what you mean about when you see him you will know if your relationship will be furthered…I just hope that if it is that the two of you can get off to a better start, a fresh clean slate and find something in each other that is worth waiting for, it adds so much more excitement to the relationship when you know that you wont have sex, you seek to know more about the other person, the deeper things, you are free to explore the others mind and not just default to have sex out of lack of things to talk about or do…LOL….

    #26061
    Twiggy3
    Sarah de Waal

    congrats!!! yeah drugs were a big big downfall to me, it’s been really hard and I almost failed but I have certain people i turned to recently that kept me strong. I am inspired, one of my idols, musically, and in other parts of my life, has been sober 11 years, and I can talk to him. i am so fortunate, to be able to talk to someone I admired that is hanging on my walls and is in quite a few of my favorite bands.
    I understand what you’re saying, but for me, I try and mess things up, so if I promise myself no sex, I will probably try to have sex just to mess up. Plus If I make a promise to myself and then break it, then I will feel bad. Instead of swearing, i will just take it if it comes, if we dont have sex, we don’t have sex, if we do, we do. No pressures, or worrying about if I am following my promise. That and I believe in everything happens for a reason, every choice, every even affects you for a reason. The only promise i can hold myself to is staying clean and that is hard enough.
    I know that as far as diseases go, we don’t have to worry, we know where we have been and that we’re clean. As far as pregnancy, it goes along with everything happens for a reason, it just scared me a little because we weren’t in a relationship. This guy and I are friends and we have a lot in common as it is, we always have things to talk about. I am just not worried about trying to follow an ideal im not sure I would want to. But I am proud that you could.

    #26063
    Meg11
    Meagan Weber

    So who is this famous musician you met? Now I am dying to know….I know what you mean about the self destructive pattern of “if I say I wont do it then I will just to prove I am a mess up” that was the story of my life for so long…you know what though, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and things will work out for you, it is always best to work on the most urgent and important thing, the priority, mine change from time to time but this season my priorities are to keep the house sanitary, not perfectly clean but livable and not yell at my kids…LOL…some days that is all I am capable of, other days I am super woman and I crochet blankets for single teen moms and drop them at the hospital, make meals for sick friends, clean my house and someone elses and make a 5 course meal with a smile on my face….I cannot hold myself to that standard though otherwise I will fail big time…LOL…anyways I am so glad we have had this conversation going and I hope that we will continue to keep each other strong…Love Meg

    #26065
    Twiggy3
    Sarah de Waal

    haven’t met him face to face, but I talk to him, it’s Acey Slade, from The Murderdolls, Amen, Dope, Traslight Vision…etc…ha ha
    Why thank you, I try to keep my head up, and I get it, somedays I struggle just to breathe, and others I run a marathon without falling. I am glad to,I never came on here to find a friends, but I seem to have found one.

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