This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Jenn L .
- November 10, 2008 at 2:26 am #23055
hey everyone, i just found this site last night and im hoping talking to other girls in my situation will help a lil. im 19 and 6 months pregnant with a little boy. i found out on my bday, and the week before my bf of a year broke up with me. im scared out of my mind. he says he wants to be in the babys life and be friends, but it is the hardest thing being his friend because im still in love with him. he is also not there for me emotionaly, all we do is fight because im pretty sure hes with other girls and all he does is party every weekend. i know were not together but it makes me so mad cuz im workin so hard going to college full time and working full time for our baby and he works maybe 20 hours a week. were not talking at the moment, and i keep thinkin maybe it would be better if we didnt talk at all. i cant stand the thought of him bein a part of the rest of my life because i dont think ill ever stop loving him. my friends dont understand at all, they just think im gettin a fun baby to play with but as most of u know its not like that. i love my baby with all my heart and cant wait for him to come, but im scared all this stress will be takin a toll on him. im also afraid of how the future will work out with the babys father. any1 with a similar story please comment cuz i need advice!!November 11, 2008 at 12:45 am #23072
I hear ya girly. It isnt fair at all. Guys dont have to get stuck carrying a child so they can pretty much do what ever they want. It is our burden as women to bear when we get involved with an irresponsible guy. It is a terrible situation you are in but things will work out. you work hard for your baby and your baby will appreciate you in the long run. he may not appreciate his father as much, but he still needs to know his father so I would suggest you keep contact with the father. I am sure it is hard and it seems like you will never stop loving him. But eventually you will stop being inlove with him and move on. All you can do now is be strong for your son. Good luck.November 11, 2008 at 1:36 am #23073
You just have to stay strong for the little man growing inside of you. He does need to know his father if the father is willing, even if it doesn’t seem like he does much for him. Don’t let yourself be the blame of a bad relationship.
My boyfriend’s mom was cheated on 3 times by his father, and yet, as much as it hurt her, she stayed strong for her son and kept in contact with his father for his sake. Your son’s father will hopefully grow up and mature one day and get over this stage. You never know what can happen! You may meet someone between now and the end of your pregnancy and fall in love with another man and forget all about your ex. Just stay strong, positive, and focus on your new baby to come.
Congratulations and good luck! 🙂November 11, 2008 at 9:02 am #23081
Hey, how’s it going? My name is Anna and I had my son when I was fifteen. He’s a little one year old now and I’m turning seventeen in January. While I’m with my boyfriend and we’re doing relativley ok I know what the stress is like. You’re to prepare yourself for hardships and stress. That is what babies are about. But in my year of being of Mom it has taught me so many amazing things and I see myself improving as a person every day. They joy of being a young mom is while you may not be where you’d like to be (money, relationship, school etc.) we’re still young enough that we can fix it as we go along, raising our happy healthy bouncy babies. And beilieve your friends it is a lot of fun. And also, it will be easier to do it alone because no boyfriend is better than an unsoportive one. message my guestbook if you want my email address, I’ll support you through this 🙂November 15, 2008 at 10:34 am #23148
I figured I would share some of my past with you because it kind of deals with your situation. It deals with the ex-boyfriend aspect of your story.
When I was about 13 I met this guy and we started dating. We dated for a little over 2 years, on and off, the longest (and last time) being a year and a half. I was so in love with him. We had plans to get married and have a family and live happily ever after. And then he cheated on me with one of my best friends. My whole entire world came crashing down on me. It was the worst time of my entire life.
I went through a lot of really horrible times after that with him and my friend. For almost two years after our breakup I could not get over him. For over six month after we broke up we didn’t even talk because I looked and him and just started crying my eyes out. I missed him more than anything and I just couldn’t get over him.
Then I met an amazing guy who is the father of my 7 month old son. When I started dating my baby’s father, it was easier to let go of everything that I had with the first guy. It took a long time, but now we are very close again. Not in a relationship sense, but just as friends. So I guess my point is that it is possible to move on from the relationship and just be friends.
By the way, I am 17 and I have a 7 month old son with my boyfriend (soon to be fiance). I got pregnant only 2 months after I turned 16. It is difficult but I’m telling you it was the best decision I’ve ever made by keeping my son. It is worth everything I’ve gone through.
I’m sorry this is so long, but I hope it helps. Even a little bit. If you ever need anything just sign my guestbook.November 18, 2008 at 12:44 am #23179
Hey honey. Let me first congratulate you on the impending birth of your baby boy. I became pregnant @ 17 w/ my high school sweetheart’s baby. He, like your ex, was running around on me. It is VERY difficult when you are pregnant (due to hormonal changes) to make logical decisions regarding your relationship. My advice is to focus on you and your son. I can’t lie and say it will be easy. Raising a son on my own was one of THE toughest things I have ever done. But, IT CAN BE DONE. You will be a stronger woman for it. My son is 15 years old now. I thank God EVERYDAY for sending him to me. He saved my life. You can do it Lil’ Mama. Focus on YOU & YOUR BABY.
CathrineNovember 19, 2008 at 2:46 pm #23233
It will take a toll on you and your son. Guys are jerks. He should have maned up and made it work for all of you to be a family. Then after trying and it doesnt work then you seperate. Its hard being young and not ready to be grown and take on responsibilities.
I wish you lots of luck.
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