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February 5, 2013 at 11:44 am #28805Anonymous
My name is Autumn and I haven’t been on this site in an extremely long time, but I found myself yet again in the same situation. I have a 4 year old little boy who means the world to me, but I made a stupid mistake again… I just found out today that I am pregnant for the second time with a different father. We aren’t together and it was more of a one night thing, but he is being very supportive. I am also in college and have 2 more years AND work nearly full time at a hospital. I’m not sure what to do… I’ve always been pro-life but I’m not sure I could do that or adoption, either. But I don’t know how in the world any of this would work out. I can’t drop out of school and disappoint my family or change my little boy’s life for the worst. Someone please help me make a decision and get through this! I am terrified and it’s like this isn’t really happening to me right now…February 6, 2013 at 8:33 am #28806Meg11
Hey Sweetie! Your parents LOVE you, they may not be 100% proud of this news, BUT….If you remember, they were not thrilled last time either….They are AMAZING grandparents and they could not imagine life any different than it is now….They will adjust in time, just like you will….You are so incredibly smart, you HAVE the drive it takes to accomplish your goals, even with another baby!…As you already know, they do not stay babies for ever…You have some great friends, a loving family and girl, you are motivated…I am glad you came back, its ok to doubt yourself or your situation at times, but its not the doubting that establishes who we are, its the decision…Do I face this full on, head to head, or do I run and give up on everything I have worked so hard for….Not sure if you remember, but I had two kids from two dads by the time I was 21…I made it, not only did I “survive” but I LIVE…I have a great life, so do my kids and I never even went to college like you are….You are HALF WAY DONE…You’ve got this…I know you and I have seen your heart unfold over these years and I don’t believe you could live with yourself if you chose to end your pregnancy…You have too much love for that…You care about life and health and medical ethics…You cannot do something that goes against what you desire to do as a career…to help sustain and better life….Here is a great website, http://www.loveschoice.com/ , It can be a good sounding board for you to see if adoption is a right option for you and this new little baby….Anyways…You know how to get a hold of me and you know that there is a TON of help and support out there…Love you tons, so do your parents….Just don’t judge the situation on their initial reaction…They may flip…just Stand your ground…it will work out…Just like things already have…this is just round two…Its going to be ok…I am here…we all are! <3 Love MegFebruary 6, 2013 at 12:28 pm #28807Anonymous
I know I’ve spent my whole life since my pregnancy fighting the odds… fighting everything everyone told me I would become. I got into a great university, I am in nursing school and if I lose my place this fall I don’t get back in. I am not allowed to take a semester off and nursing school is SO difficult. If it was any other major I could probably do it, but not nursing. I am a CNA but I don’t want that for the rest of my life. I don’t want to know that I was 2 years away from my job and I wanted to even go past that to work as a Nurse Practitioner in the NICU. But how can I be a NICU nurse that justifies aborting little babies? I just can’t do it. And I don’t think I could do adoption, either. I don’t know what to do at all. I know that I am already on my own and have my own apartment, insurance, vehicle, etc. but I don’t make enough to take care of a baby and go to school and my 4 year old is still living with my parents while I get through school and that’s already hard enough. How could I send my newborn away while they’re so young or how could I have one and not the other? I can’t do that, I just can’t. And the father is now in a different state and he’s supposed to come back because he’s also halfway through school and this just happened in one day and we had no idea… I just don’t feel like I’ve gotten to the place I want to be with myself, as a mother to my son already even, and especially not enough to have another baby. I was so young before I couldn’t comprehend any of this and now I’m old enough and it’s scarier… I just don’t see how I can do this and stay in school. I can’t sacrifice my son’s future happiness for my mistake. As always, thanks so much for your answers Meg and you’re right… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. It is helping to talk it out, I just don’t know what is going to happen this time. I don’t feel safe or secure anymore because I’m not under my parents.February 6, 2013 at 8:17 pm #28808renee
Autumn, thanks for seeking out advice and choosing to talk through it. I am proud of you! I know that it really helps me to talk when I have the biggest loads on my mind. Your mind is tricky sometimes (I wonder why mine hasn’t exploded at points)….we tend to lean on what we can comprehend or can handle in our minds….but definitely in some cases you need to listen to your heart – your gut feeling or tug. It seems that you’ve already noticed that in the end of it all, “you couldn’t live with yourself after.” Listen to that. 🙂 I think there are many hardships you will be able to bare, but some choices may be unbearable. Your choice either way has eternal consequences to your life. But don’t choose something where you will live with the pain continually. Do not chose that of regret. At least in trying, you have action that you can take. Losing a child is for good, it is not replaceable. You are a brave woman, and stronger than me. Stand up! And know that there are many many many people who will back you up! Blessings <3.February 7, 2013 at 6:55 am #28809Anonymous
You know the old saying, “Where there is a will, there is a way!”. You have actually conquered the hardest part for most girls and that is having a baby. Well your son sounds like a wonderful little guy, already 4, ready to go to preschool!! Before you look at the situation as totally hopeless, you should go meet with a school counselor and explain the situation to them. There are often medical allowances for taking time off of school and they will let you continue after you have had the baby. Many hospitals and schools also have daycare available at low or no cost for your children while you are working or in school. This allows you the flexibility of continuing with your goals and raising a happy, healthy, loving family.
I know adoption must seem so far out of the question right now, but I would love for you to look over a really cool website http://www.LovesChoice.com! This site really explains the truth about adoption and how it can be a really wonderful experience for you and your baby. meg mentioned it too, you should take some time to read the stories there!
I agree with Meg, having an abortion is NOT the answer!!! You will not forget about it, you will regret it and you then have to consider how to explain to your little boy that he had a sister or brother that you chose not to bring into this world because it just didn’t seem like it would work.
You know what Autumn, it can work!! We are here for you and can help you with so many of the resources you might need to move forward and have a wonderful future for your babies!!!!
Your parents do love you and your little boy. Yes, they might be a bit disappointed, but they will love your new little one just as much!! Don’t ever give up hope!
Where there is a will, there is a way!!
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