Scared anybody?

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by kez_mummy_2_skye Kerry Atkinson .

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  • #20755
    alexanders_mama
    Katerina Mik

    Well you may read my post about a new man in my life…what a joke lol.
    I’m now so scared that I’ll be single for the rest of my life. This latest break up I’m finding it incredibly hard to get my head around…somebody who treated me right, somebody who even introduced me to his family including his mother as his girlfriend, somebody who supported me through so much and who once just bought me flowers without really being in trouble with me or anything…
    The whole dynamic of our relationship took a turn for the worst when I told him that in two years I’ll probably leave for overseas forever. And then it just changed.
    Then on a Thursday night I told him I loved him…that’s how quickly I fell for him…he told me he was still falling for me but he had to make sure…anyway, on Saturday night I had a clouded head because I had things to think about, and on Sunday i told him I needed space so I couldn’t see him that night…and he kept on sending me messages how he basically loves me, how he’s falling for me and he’s scared and all he can think about is me…sounds nice right?
    So Monday he calls me up in the morning as per usual and I told him I couldn’t have sex with him for a while and generally i felt clouded and unsure and he took it personally, he took it like I didn’t want to see him, and I ran out of credit so that didn’t help to reassure him. He sent me a message that didn’t even make grammatical sense about how he was falling in love with me and now I’m pulling away and that’s what scares him the most.
    Tuesday night he came over and he told me we needed to break up. I was a bit psycho after having had a shocking two days and I asked him to stay, and told him I’ll probably not go overseas….it wasn’t just for him, there were issues that i actually had had to think about that’s why i needed space…I started crying, he seemed to be getting angry or something, well quiet anyway, and then he said he needed to clear his head and then stormed out and zoomed off in his car. He wouldn’t talk to me until Saturday didn’t pick up or anything, and then after I told him how much he was hurting me please pick up he answered I cant Im sorry I shouldnt have let this go so long; which basically meant the relationship, he kept on saying that on Tuesday night.
    And now…eight days and nothing, and I’m never expecting to see him again. I’m fine now, I’m fine after Saturday when things were definate and not just limbo…but i can’t beleive men.
    I’m scared I’ll be single forever. He seemed to have cared so much for me…and now nothing, not even wanting to part as friends. And that brings me back to the thought…what if I turn out to be single forever?

    #20792
    chutney
    K B

    hey 🙂 i dont come on here much…but i read ur post and just had to say that i know times can be lonely, and everyone says people wer never ment to be alone…but i think its better to be single and content by urself, than with sum1 and unhappy…there are so many people who are with there partners just because they are scared of being alone and thats definately not what life is about. its about being happy and being urself.

    and as for this guy…well, i dont know him so wont judge, who knows what will happen with you and him in the future…but at least u can learn from this experience and move on…if its not gonna work its better for people to walk away than stay together for the wrong reasons.

    when i’ve had bad times in the past, i’ve noticed its when i feel the most at ease and come to terms with being single and being happy about it that iv actually met guys (well once lol!) iv liked.

    it doesnt take much to feel happy when u look around and realise u got a lot great things goin on really 🙂

    i hope u dont feel that way for long!!!

    good luck xxx

    #20793
    Shluna105
    Emily Saget

    I dont thonk that you will be single forever. Love usually finds you, you just have to stop looking. Thats what happened for me. I was friends with my husband for years before we even got together, and when I finally realized that I didnt need a man to be happy and I accepted that, it hit me that there he was. It will take time, but you will realize that the person you are meant to be with, is closer than you think. But, the thing is, you cant go looking for it, you have to let it come to you. Its just time, and patience. You will realize it when the time comes, and when you get that feeling go with it. Thats what I did.

    #20817
    kez_mummy_2_skye
    Kerry Atkinson

    it sounds to me like he is hurting and he is also scared of falling for you again so getting away is his easiest solution.
    I would have to admit that if i fell in love with someone and then they told me that they wouldnt be around soon, thrn id probably take a backstep and rethink if its the right think to do(fall in love)

    Just let him have some time.

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