regret

This topic contains 5 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous .

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  • #11378
    Blondie_gurl83
    JoLein

    Hi, well after reading others posts on here I regret my decision even more. I recently had an abortion, at the time I really did not want to go through with it, yet I did because my boyfriend said we wouldn’t make it in our relationship if I decided to keep the baby. Now, I can’t even talk to him. I have so much anger built up inside over tyhe fact that I now know that everything I dealt with the past 4 weeks is done, over. I want to scream, yet I know I could of said NO… yet I love him or at least I think I do. Not sure what to do from here, if any one has any advice… would be greatly welcome. Thanks,

    #11385

    Anonymous

    Hi,
    I know exactly what your going through….im sending you love and a hug from the uk. Im a married woman and had my first pregnancy at the age of 33 years. I was so scared as i never thought i’d get pregnant after all this time, but i did. I was so ill and ended up in hospital…my husband was really supportive, i thought, until he said to me….its me or the baby. i chose him…and its the biggest regret of my life. i wasnt strong enough to stand up and give myself time to think about things and i hate myself for that. he carries on life as though nothing has happenned….and i think about it every day. Everywhere i look, theres pregnant women, babies and it hurts. My baby would have been due August 18th. I know what it looked like at 9 weeks…but i still didnt have the courage to say what was in my heart. I dont know if a relationship can survive this….i keep hanging on in there…but i have so much anger that i cant tell anyone. i am disgusted at myself for being so weak….and letting my baby down. Your not alone…mya.xxxx friends are there for you, more then men ever will be…they are the ones who listen when im down.

    #11395
    Blondie_gurl83
    JoLein

    Thank you so much for the reply. I know that this is going to be hard, yet, we are trying to work things out. I have the support of my friends and that means the world to me.

    #11396
    Kit
    kate Sydik

    I’m sorry to hear about your tough situation and the pain and struggle you are dealing with. I’m also sorry to hear about how your boyfriend pressured you to make a decision that you regret. As far as your relationship I can’t tell you whether to stay with hin or not. When I was younger I had a pregnancy scare. It turns out that I wasn’t pregnant, but my boyfriend had said that if I was he was not sure that he would have been there for me and for the baby. That was one of the factors that led me to decide to break up with him. I deserved better, and any potential children deserved better. I didn’t want to continue a sexual relationship if he wouldn’t be there. If he really loves you he will respect and listen to your feelings. It doesn’t look like he is doing that and you deserve better. I would take a close look at your relationship, pray, and listen to your heart. Either choice I would stop having sex with him as you know he will push you into abortion.

    Sometimes don’t you wish that you had the ability to travel back in time and change things that have happened in the past? – I know there are times that I have felt that way. Beating yourself up emotionally over the past won’t help. Unfortunately it is impossible for you to go back and undo your abortion. However it sounds like you are still in pain from the experience. Perhaps you should look into Project Rachel or other post abortion counseling which might help you to deal with some of the pain from your experience. You might want to talk to Lisa from the stand up girl site too. She may be able to help you cope. You can learn from this experience. Next time you can make different choices and you can still be a good mother in the future. I wish you best wishes and hope with time the pain will heal.

    Kate

    #11473
    Blondie_gurl83
    JoLein

    I know that things have changed a lot for my boyfriend and I yet they are getting back to where they were. We spent this past weekend just talking, shutting off our phones and leaving the rest of the world outside. I know that I love him, and he does love me. One day this will all make sence and we’ll be able to provide a stable environment for a child. Right now we can’t and we’re both full time college students. I want my childern to have a life I never had. Thanks for all the advice, I am now in a support group once a week and have therapy once a week. And that’s making a huge diffeeance for the relationship.

    #11747

    Anonymous

    After reading your post I had to reply. I have been in the same situation myself, this time last year. I was 14 weeks pregnant when I found out, and when I told my fiancee he gave me no choice. It was either to get rid of the baby else go it alone. I was frightened, confused and at the time in my life were I needed the most support I was offered none.
    The next few days where a blair, within 5 days my baby was gone. I am still with my partner, but we dont talk about it. Every day I regret what I have done and wish I would have given myself more time to realise that I could have been strong enough to go it alone.
    The baby that I aborted will never be replaced and my relationship with my partner will never be the same, but I couldnt have afforded to loose both.

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