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- March 4, 2008 at 10:01 pm #20551
I lost my daughter a little less than a year ago… following that horrible time of my life, i realized I was pregnant but with all the emotional strain and physical hardships I put my body through I miscarried. I am now married to my daughter father my childhood love… He really really wants a baby… and has been pushing me really hard to have one…I just dont feel ready yet… He says it will make me feel better that I wont dwell on Kennah’s death forever… He has gone to pretty extreme measures to try to get me pregnant. I know he means well…am i wrong??? I still feel like there is a hole in my heart and a new baby would only fall in not replace… Does anyone agree with me? ? I dont know how to get it across that I dont want another baby yet… I get pregnant pretty easily so I am like scared to have sex with him… He isnt a devious preson at all he just thinks it will make me better, and he hates seeing me like this… I dont know what to do…March 6, 2008 at 6:53 am #20561
I have never lost a child so I’m not going to say I know what you’re going through. I have NO idea.
But at this point in your life, it’s up to YOU to move forward.
Nothing anyone says…not me, not the standupgirl members, not your husband or your family….can ever force you to make the decision to move forward.
That is up to you, and you alone.
You will NEVER get over the loss of your daughter and you will ALWAYS miss her and love her more than anything.
Those are the facts.
But it is up to you to live life, or let it pass you by.
Life goes on when you’re sad. And life goes on when you’re happy.
It is your choice to feel those feelings.
If you believe your beautiful little girl is in heaven now in God’s arms, then you probably know that she is fully aware of the way the universe works. She knows everything because she is an angel and angels are enlightened.
You KNOW that she wants you to be happy.
Because she knows that happines is just, well, more fun than saddness!
I think you’re right about not wanting another baby right now. But if you said you did want another baby right now, I would still tell you I think you are right. If you’re not ready, you’re just NOT READY. You’re the only one who really knows that.
Moving forward is not about having a baby and covering up feelings you won’t let go of right now.
Moving forward is about letting yourself feel happy again. It’s about realizing that it’s OKAY to not feel guilty about what happened.
Moving forward is getting back in touch with yourself – the self you had while your precious little one was still with you.
You will learn how to live again, not with a hole in your heart, but with a FULL heart because you know with every bone in your body that you loved that little girl dearly.
You will live happily again when you are ready.
And only you can make the choice as to when that happens.
It’s up to you honey. Good luck,
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