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April 24, 2009 at 4:26 pm #24931sharlotterose81
This is my first time posting on here. Thanks to everyone who answers in advance 🙂
I just found out I am about 5 weeks along with my second child. My bf of two years, (who is 30 btw-I am 27), is not my other child’s father. The problem is his reaction when I told him. I told him point blank abortion was not an option and we proceeded to argue about why I didn’t want it, etc…I basically told him it is not a choice for myself for a number of reasons. He is very adamant about me having the abortion, which is only angering me even more. I told him we have a lot of time to discuss this. I feel so disgusted that he is being so selfish.
My question is has anyone else’s boyfriend pressured them to have an abortion, but they still refused? What were the effects on the relationship?
Thanks and good luck to all,
~TApril 28, 2009 at 1:00 am #24953Anonymous
Hun, I just want to tell you that you are doing the right thing in deciding to keep your baby inspite of your boyfriend’s attitude! a pregnancy can put strain on a relationship, but if he won’t stick around when you are pregnant and really need him, rest assured that he is not the man for you. I am so glad that you are keeping your baby. Any problems you go through will be nothing next to the horrible pain and destruction that you would go through if you had an abortion.
If you ask any girl on here who has gone through abortion, she will say that it would be more than worth it to keep the baby and put up with anything.
Sorry if that’s not much help, I have never been in your place before.
Hugs!April 28, 2009 at 8:00 pm #24957sharlotterose81
Thank you for the support. It is hard because everytime I see him he will essentially try every trick in the book to try to convince me abortion is the right thing. At this point I am taking care of my body and trying to just give him space to let this sink in. I can tell he is still hoping, but he knows this baby is coming and he is terrified. I told him we are in this together, but we need to be adults. For now things are still sinking in.May 2, 2009 at 4:15 pm #24999Anonymous
Aw, that is hard! 🙁 It’s a good idea to give him some space and let it sink in for a little while.
Sometimes people only “come around” when they see the beautiful baby face-to-face. 😉
I really hope that he changes his mind, but even if he doesn’t, know that you are doing the right thing by giving your baby life! 🙂
Whenever you need to talk or need some support you can get it here. Even though I’ve never been in your exact situation, there are girls on here who have and they would be able to help you with practical advice. 🙂
How are you doing? Are you depressed or are you doing pretty good?
Hugs!May 4, 2009 at 2:37 pm #25022k486
Hey, sorry to hear about your situation 🙁 I know how you feel, my partner is pressuring me a lot as well, and we’ve had some really heated arguments about it (and we don’t normally argue very much), and it is very distressing and upsetting.
Many (maybe even most) men can go through that panic stage, think about how big a commitment it is, think about the financial strain, about all the limitations having a baby puts on you. As MissKirsty said, give him some space and some time to think about it, and see if he comes round to the idea.
It is you who is going to have to live with it, if you abort, and you only need to read the posts in here to know that it’s not just going to go away, that you’re not just going to forget it and carry on with life as normal.
It will be with you for the rest of your life. So the decision should be yours, don’t let him force you into something that you’ll regret, just to keep him happy. That could make you end up really resenting him, so having the abortion could put a huge strain on the relationship.
Your boyfriend probably won’t understand but he doesn’t need to. If you are really determined to keep the baby then he should support you, no matter what. I don’t know what I’m going to do or how things are going to work out for me but I think you should follow your heart and do what you think is right. Best of luck. xxxMay 5, 2009 at 4:06 pm #25027Cdebbie0
It’s really odd how men think u can just toss the baby, and life will go on. I was pressured into abortion by my ex. I never really gave it much thought at the time, and presumed that things would be ok, as he’d promised. But, as time went by, i couldn’t look at him, i couldn’t sleep in the same room as him, i started to resent him for forcing me to lay my body down and have an innocent baby “removed”! Nothing can take that guilt & hurt away. I think back on how things could & would have been & know that keeping my baby would have been a better option.
No matter how difficult it gets, God always provides for his children!!!
Hope this helps
DebMay 16, 2009 at 4:30 am #25112dschreiber
u should know that there are options if youre not ready to be a mom. you can adopt out. my cuz is a adoptive mom and she’s great and the real mom sees the baby often. its the best of both worlds
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