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- November 28, 2007 at 7:47 am #19734Mike_harvey
I’m sort of lost, maybe some of you girls can help me out? I just don’t understand the logic behind wanting a baby so badly at such a young age. How does a 17-year old, 16-year old and even as young as 14 want a baby so badly that they totally disregard the resources and ability to care for a child on their own? I know not every girl has that fuzzy warm dream of having the perfect wedding with the perfect husband, and eventually buying a house and having perfect kids and everything, but how do you know that you are ready to have a kid when you are still considered by society a kid yourself?
I’m not trying to sound like a jerk or come off brash; I’m truly intrigued to know. I’ve experienced first-hand coming very close to almost having a baby with my ex-girlfriend, but it ended with a miscarriage, and our amazing relationship went sour shortly after. She wanted to have a baby so badly at such a young age and I just didn’t understand it.November 28, 2007 at 10:26 pm #19747nadza
hey im 15 and 30weeks preg, my pregnancy was totally unexpected so the reply to ur question will not be from my own experience, but rather from just being a female!
women.. or as u refer to us "girls" feel a longing to be a mother, a deep want, a totally normal and natural thing.. it occurs to all girls at different ages and stages in our lives, some younger then others but we go through it non the less…its just that some girls choose to answer that call and longing and decide to fulfil their motherly craving, sometimes with disreguard of finance housing etc.. and some will choose to wait…
im sorry, to you this must sound so illogical and soo corky, but you, being a guy, should know thst its hard to explain women in general soo its even harder to explain a womans emotion, i guess u would have to be one urself to get a full understanding, but since thats not even an option (LOL) i hope ive helped you to get a better understanding…December 1, 2007 at 10:08 pm #19775Kaileyamanda
actually, even as a female i dont understand it either.
i know that it is natural to want to be a mother but mothers should do everything possible to take the best care of their children and that includes knowing that at a young age it is impossible to give a child everything that they need and it is irresponisble to expect anyone else to.
Becoming pregnant by accident forces us to face such things and do the best possible job but purposely getting pregnant before a girl is stable in life makes me so sad for them and for the baby… not because they cant do it but because young girls should feel like life is just beginning, not that everything has to be done right away!
It is crazy how young girls are having sex and once you do that for long enough, accident are bound to happen! I started at 15- what was i thinking? It doesnt matter what i, or any other girl thinks or says, we arent ready, its not the right time, and we dont really know what all is out there enough to have a baby. Annnd girls should really try and wait… geez atleast until 16 to have sex! that even sounds too young but it would help so very much because most girls on this site have seen the effects of having sex early.
Girls wanting babies so early is a sign of immaturity and not maturity because if they were mature, they would be thinking about what happens later in life and the life of their child before anything else.December 2, 2007 at 7:17 am #19781alexanders_mama
I would have to agree with nadza. It is instilled in a woman biologically — we just want to have babies. Have you ever noticed even in daycare three year old girls playing with dolls being mummy, feeding them, putting them to sleep? I’m not saying all girls are like that, I for one climbed trees and fell into ditches when I was growing up instead, but that’s the norm.
I always wanted a baby, even before I had my rags (sorry for the bluntness) or had sex, although I did think of it in terms of the future. But I can understand why other people want to have babies at a younger age — I always wanted my first at 20, but I ended up being pregnant at 16. And you know, I felt ready. I still don’t feel too young, and I’m 19. I woulnd’t call us premature. Premature means not mature enough — and premature girls can’t get pregnant because they are physically not mature enough. When one is emotionally mature enough I don’t think you could cut off somebody at 16 and say — you’re not emotionally mature. Everybody’s different. I felt mature enough.
And I don’t believe that you can’t raise children well when you’re young. Everyone in my family other than my mother had their first just after hitting 20 — I know, it’s a bit older than the teens, but that’s just how it was. Some people feel ready, other’s don’t.
Especially in Western culture (I’m not meaning to offend anyone but it’s true) ‘raising’ a child properly usually means giving them the two-storey house and a lot of other material things. Geez, if my ancestors could even dream of that, living in communal flats with other families! I really can’t agree with kaileyamanda that young girls aren’t ready. I was, even if it wasn’t planned. I find it hard to understand how women at 14 can be ready — because I was a virgin then and just couldn’t imagine it, and I find it hard to understand why people who are 30 don’t feel ready either sometimes. But just because I don’t fully understand their point of view, doesn’t mean that it’s not legitimate.December 3, 2007 at 10:59 pm #19796dorismay
Maybe it is to do with wanting to be cared for as a baby. A deeply felt and ancient longing going back to her own babylife. Then there is a strong drive to life that females experience, if the female is from a neglecting home situation she is unlikely to have sufficient social skills and education in place to work out the reality from the fairytale. She wants the dream life, add to this a boy coming on with a lot of interest and she thinks it is love and falls for the oldest con "I love you and will care for you".December 7, 2007 at 5:25 am #19832randomchyck220
Well, for some of us it happened unexpectedly, but I was the one who didnt really do anything to prevent it from happening. So I was on the birth control pill, i stopped taking it for a while, met my babys daddy and during that time i liked the thought of getting pregnant, having a life growing inside of me, having someone to love and care for, someone that would also depend on me. Now I’m 4 and a half months pregnant, and i don’t regret it exactly but i feel so stupid for wanting a baby when i didnt really fully understand what i would endure. I never thought about my eduation either, I’m 17 and im in high school, I stayed back two years, once in 7th grade and once in 9th, and now im paying for it by spending another 2 extra years in school. I had been thinking lately about dropping out, but now im trying to focus again and just stick it out. So i want to discourage those 14, 15+ girls who want babies from getting pregnant, but then i guess id be some sort of hippocrite.December 8, 2007 at 4:51 am #19856bweber
i agree, i am 18 and have a 6month old boy, i got pregnant at 17 and had him shortly after i turned 18….i think that it is primal thing in our girl genes that makes us long for a baby and it also blocks out the rational part of our brain that thinks of the consiquences of doing such a thing…i wanted a baby and after trying and not succeding i stopped trying and ended up pregnant…im very happy with my life, im a young mother, married, and have a wonderful life, and wouldnt change it…but i still agree that i dont know wut makes us want it…December 15, 2007 at 11:31 pm #19934rocky51
finnaly a guy on the site!!!!!!!!!!December 17, 2007 at 6:47 am #19940Mike_harvey
Thanks for the replies,
I guess it does make sense to have that natural urge to have a baby. I never thought about the fact that young girls play mommy with their baby dolls.. duh.
I guess my confusion came from my past relationship with my ex-girlfriend. We were both young (I was 18 and she was 17) and she desperately wanted a baby. She actually hid her urge behind my back and lied about taking birth control. She ended up getting pregnant (as a huge shock to me) but she then had a miscarriage. It was a miracle on my half because I wasn’t ready at all to have a baby and possibly be a deadbeat dad like the way mine ended up.
That two year relationship ended pretty bad, and I finally moved on from it at around the time I began college. I’ve talked to many girls about the situation and every one of them thought the same thing as me ("she’s crazy!").
And also, I have yet to meet a girl who wanted a baby so badly, or even a girl who wants a baby at all until they graduate, establish a career, then get married sometime in the future.
So I guess that’s where all my questions stemmed from.. and that’s probably why I didn’t think it was a natural thing for a girl to want a baby so bad, because I’ve met so many girls that apparently do not have such urges.December 18, 2007 at 12:14 am #19948rocky51
yah i think ALL girls get urges like that…and some are just more open about it and actually say yah i was like that at one point..
and your ex girlfriend wasnt crazy she just wasnt thinking. and her urge must have been HUGE lol.March 28, 2008 at 1:13 pm #20783winterishrain
hey. I understand your point, but can I please remind you that it takes two to make a baby and that if you didn’t want one, you could have ( and probly should have) protected yourself as well. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t sit right with me when you say that you impregnanted a woman and then call her crazy for wanting to keep her baby. Wanting to keep a baby, no matter what age, is a woman’s instinct, (and in my opinion the right thing to do) whether she planned on being pregnant or not. I’m in a similar situation, the guy acctually told me I was crazy for being pregnant, and it’s not like I did it to myself. The process is 50/50.September 6, 2008 at 2:34 am #22144Gabriella_89
I dont understand why women who arent in stable relationships want babies, and i dont really get why some think that its a good idea to have sex with random people just to get a baby, because in all honesty i think thats really really really dumb (but those are the kind of girls that make Maury interesting LOL)
anyways my first 2 children werent planned i made the choice to have unprotected sex with a cheater, loser immature stupid guy. It was a bad choice but i have 2 beautiful children because of bad choices so i dont regret that.
anyways my third child was planned, we tried for over a year to have her, yes i was 17, but i was engaged, i was in a good place, with a good guy with a good job, supporting myself and my children. Some women just have this maternal urge, its pretty normal, im sure a lot more young women have this desire to have children and be a mother, but they dont want to do it just yet. I would say its totally normal though, girls grow up playing house and being told they will be mommies…..
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