This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Erica Garvin .
- September 1, 2009 at 1:01 pm #25673
So basically, me and the father of the baby have broken up. I’m 15, he’s 16 but we are the same age, I just have a late birthday. We were broken up before conceiving AND used protection when conception took place but somehow I ended up pregnant. I’m about 5-6 weeks along. We dated for a year before breaking up. I didn’t mean for this pregnancy to happen, as much as I missed him I didn’t miss him THAT much. Things just led to another one day. About 1-2 weeks after our breakup.
The problem is I don’t want to make things any more complicated or drama-filled than they already are. Bottom line? I love/miss my ex. He has no romantic feelings for me or as a friend either, but has agreed to support me with this pregnancy and adoption process (we both came to the conclusion that abortion was a DEF NOT and we couldn’t support a child). Should I accept his offer for support and spend 9 months with him, despite my emotions? Or should I take the selfish route and push him out of my life. He broke up with me and it’s nice of him to offer but I know he’s only doing this out of guilt without a genuine care for me or the baby.
I know it will be hard to do things without his support but there are many family members and friends willing to take his place. I don’t want to deny him the right or the limited time he has to and with his child but he doesn’t seem genuinely interested; he’s simply doing it because he feels hes obligated. That could cause the next few months to become stressful and tension filled if he doesn’t want to be there. We’re young, I know what I feel for him isn’t love but I don’t want to stress myself out anymore than I need to: for my sake and the babys.
thank you in advance for reading and help.October 31, 2009 at 6:01 am #26016
This does seem rather complicated. I would say that the only thing you can do is sit down and really think about the benefits of having his support. Considering that you know that you have feelings for him, it may make things more complicated and painful to have him around even if you know that it is just for the next 9 months. I can understand your feelings for him but if they are going to be a problem then I wouldn’t add unnecessary pain to yourself. You are already accepting that the child that is growing inside you will be a reminder of him but so you really need him there as well? Especially if you know that the feelings you have for him are not going to be reciprocated. Just be careful and follow your heart. This is a big decision. If you ever need anything or someone to talk to just know that I’m here. Best of luck!December 27, 2009 at 6:42 am #26290
That is up to you. If you want him in your life then go for it but if you dont then do you. Think about it first and try to lay down and imagine what would happen with each of the choice.December 29, 2009 at 11:06 pm #26298
Hi! You are not alone. 3 years ago, when I found out I was pregnant, my bf and I were broken up too. I was the one that broke his heart, so telling him I was pregnant and expecting him to return to me right away was difficult. It took him a couple months to come around. Now he is my husband and weve been married for 2 years.
Good for you for choosing adoption. I cant tell you whether to allow him back into your life or not, just share my story of how it worked out for me.
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